thinking vs being

Every now and again I have these potentially outrageous ideas inside my head on the "state of the world". The following one is a bit of a record of one such thought that occurred to me whilst packing up after work one day.

It may or may not be true but its just an IDEA and I am not too bad at pure Idea really, all things considered.

So here goes.... you are about to travel the deep dark recesses of my global thinking patterns.

***

During the "enlightenment" age of the mid 19th century, western civilisation moved from a culture of superstition and regulated unquestioned faith to a culture of reason and science.

The people who drove this movement had great argumentative skill and knowledge. Thinkers who made sense with their ideology and talent. It was a time for thinking and reasoned rational approaches as opposed to a time for blind obedience to pious superstitions.

Our culture rapidly adopted the dogma that all things have a reason and a motive in the physical realm and nothing that could not be explained empirically was worthy of as much respect as a measured fact.

The culture is changing again. I see the "west" (or more accurately perhaps...The North), seeking to reacquaint itself with less observable sets of "Laws" than what is physically apparent to the senses.

We are craving spiritual re-connection again with forces we cannot understand and nor are we choosing to understand them in quite the same way as we understand the "laws" of the physical world.

There is a large number of people in my demographic (white, middle-aged, middle-class, Anglo-Saxon-European heritage), seeking to think less about rational results and more about spiritual awareness. We want to BE IN the world again, not merely be on it or above it or outside of it. We want deep spiritual connections with everything again. We are seeing ourselves less and less as mere sojourners on this planet - as objective observers of the physical realm around us - to wanting instead, to become "at one" with the physical world. We seem to crave a kind of simpatico reciprocal system of natural union, a kind of soul-kinship to the natural world if you will.

Eastern cultures have always managed to combine both deep spiritual connections and rational application of physical laws to the world around them. They are quite happy to marry both of these apparently disparate thinking modes into a holistic pattern of everyday life.

Western cultures have never really successfully combined these two modes of application...spirituality and rationality....we are VERY good at boxing these things up into separate compartments...most often relegating spiritual things to a tiny box of superfluous importance to our daily existence.

None of what I have just said is empirical fact of course. I have not set out to make a study of what I have just stated with evidence to prove it in the affirmative. I have just stated what I believe is my gut feeling about what I understand to be happening generally in the culture in which I reside.

This blog post is the opposite way of disseminating "ethical and sound" information! At least from the standpoint of the last 200 + years! Nothing of what I have just said can be proven either way.

This very individual unproven and outspoken expression of my P.O.V. is now able to be given credence and potential for examination by those who happen to read it.

This is the new data verification of the age! Blogging, especially blogging about spiritual perspectives, is a "new" form of sermonizing I guess. A new way of feeding people's need for spiritual knowledge. It's also a platform for exegesis of the viewpoints, breeding collective memes that coherently join like-minded faith tribes together. Through the opinion and discussion of many P.O.V's, we will soon draw conclusions as to the validity of my statements or not.

We have moved from dismissing one individuals reasoning as un-empirical due to lack of data to adopting it as a possible theme for reasonable exploration and thought.

I "see" our world moving from setting rules according to observable principles to a world that is setting new rules that are not so observable and are much more individual in their expression and purpose. We are a people on the brink of a great spiritual and scientific change.

A "new" dogma is about to emerge and I believe it will combine both the principles and perhaps practices of very old faiths and superstitions repackaged under the principles of reason and thought through scientific research and data collection and lots and lots of rational debate. We are not just entering a technologically digital age... we are entering a new age of systematic spirituality as well.

For the moment I'm calling this new paradigm "Gaea Thinking". It will perhaps combine a series of belief systems from the "New Age" movement and scientific data collection to prove the empirical validity of these revised but essentially ancient Faith systems. It will be more fluid, more remote, less empirical, scattered, intense and very very irrational unless you happen to believe it of course! :)

I don't know

QYB (saluté Vlad)

Belief and Thought.

I was musing on the concept of Belief the other day.

I wondered...and I still do wonder... if Belief is merely a process of Thought or if it goes deeper than mere thinking.

I have many beliefs, some fundamental, resilient and some much more fluid in their expression.

These beliefs? Are they mere products of my thinking over the course of my life? Or, do my beliefs come from a different kind of source?

Now, I will not call these Beliefs "Faith" here. I do think that there is a quite different thing going on in Faith than in mere Beliefs. Put it this way; if Belief were the Forest, Faith would be the river that run through it. It is connected but its not entirely related to the same thing. One can believe a lot of things but not all of them one will have faith in.

Back to the question :)

Belief is a conclusion. How we arrive at this conclusion is a mystery. One can believe and doubt all at the same time. A belief is something that can be questioned. Sometimes we hold on to very tenuous beliefs with rigorous determination because we fear losing them but we also find we can't sustain our arguments in favour of keeping that belief any longer. Dogmatic Assumptions are not necessarily "good" Beliefs.

Thinking drives Doubt like a roller-coaster but Belief is something much deeper than Thought. We can probably create Belief from a study of a subject through intellectual knowledge and understanding but once the thinking moves into the realm of Belief it becomes more of a 'Hyper-Thought'; a little different to conscious thinking processes but there nonetheless.

Beliefs are self-factualized concepts. We assume our Beliefs to be True and Correct and its only when we have Thought bring argument to bear on Beliefs that we need to consciously drag our Beliefs up from the core of our being and into the realm of thinking and mind. We cannot describe our Beliefs without Thought. We cannot find others who share similar Beliefs to our own without consciously iterating them in word and deed. In order to describe Belief, we need to construct around it words and ideas with our conscious minds. Thoughts are imposed onto our Beliefs and Beliefs feed our thoughts. Like the twin polarities of a battery if you like. This makes for an ever-present current of unseen energy coursing through each human being every single moment of their lives.

But, maybe I now believe that Belief is on a different plane to Thought and thinking.

Perhaps Belief is a State of Being. Mind, body and soul all play their part in the construction of Belief. Our physical body cannot lie, unless trained to do so. Muscles, sinews and tissue hold to its own truth. Thinking transcends the Physical but its also related to it. Soul is another thing altogether but perhaps its safe to assume we can call the Identity, the Spirit of a person's Character, "Soul"...the essence of our individual being here in the world. All these conspire to create and reinforce Belief.

Perhaps Belief is a lens. It is the crystal through which we make out much of our individual worldview. We, each of us, have an individual way of "seeing" the world. Our Beliefs will determine much of our thinking on this worldview. The core of our being, will either be reinforced or threatened, by challenges to our deeply held Beliefs. We in turn, make judgements, assumptions, and declarations based on this lens through which we view the world before us. Belief provides us with a view that is unlike anyone elses...albeit it can be similar to someone elses.

Belief is something we DO. It isn't always obvious what someone is thinking. However, what someone believes deep down at the core of their person; Mind, Body and Soul; will be borne out in their actions and their spoken words. So, Belief is a very observable thing. Some people will tell you things they say they believe but their bodies and their spirits will tell a very different story. Sometimes it might be because they have never brought their beliefs to the surface of conscious understanding and sought to think them through. This is a lie based on ignorance. Sometimes it is because they want to hide what they really believe and so attempt to deliberately construct a lie. This is dishonesty.

Our actions state what we truly believe underneath all our thinking, our physical selves and our soul.

Thought and Belief are definitely intertwined, but they are not necessarily the one and the same thing. What we think may not make us what we are...but Belief that makes it so.

Is there a problem with being too positive about everything?

That just hit me like a lightening rod just now.

I was reading some of the posts and comments on various blogs in the "Why most leadership sucks...." dialogue. Then I noted some of the blogs in my blogroll at Bloglines. The question that heads up this blog post is what hit me!

I may have to spend some time thinking some more about this but I so see this trend running rampant through certain blogging communities right now. It seems that many bloggers are writing about a particular concept called "Attraction".

Who started it is anyone's guess. The "Law of Attraction" has become something of a minor credo and faith statement for many bloggers. There is much exegesis being developed and refined in clarifying what it actually means to hold to the "Law of Attraction".

In a nutshell, the "Law of Attraction" implies that everything in the universe is a whole and that we are not indivisible or separate from everything else. Everything is enveloped ergo whatever you think is whatever you get as what you think will be reflected in the environment around you.

Christian theology screams that this is wrong of course but I don't think I'll go off on a tangent trying to prove or disprove the errancy of the attraction thinking thing from that stance. Even I have been caught up in the mindset of the "Law of Attraction". My mind is split into a warring tribe of two hemispheres on it though. I do tend to struggle with identifying what is purely selfishness in my wanting to "attract" certain things and what is genuinely healthy positive thinking.

Christians, on the whole, can be rather morose...(I have no idea why, not all of us are like this but the stereotype is warranted even so)... so anything that gets them to lighten up and get a grip on being joyful is a good thing. Still; there is something about the "Law of Attraction" model of being über positive about EVERYTHING that seems to be a little naive and even perhaps a little dangerous.

We surely don't WANT to attract bad teaching, bad leaders, bad weather, bad Presidents or bad wars! But are these things going to change just through the process of our collective Pollyanna-ering? I don't think so!

People is people.

We are all of us...each and everyone of us...flawed.

One of the intrinsic issues with human beings is our sense of our SELF. We protect, nurture, invest and progress our SELF in the world much more than many of us care to admit. We assume ourselves to be gods in and of our own right and we nearly all of us think that everyone else "should" think the same we do about everything in our periphery of focus.

I do think there is a time to be subjective about our reality and I do also think that there must be times when we have to be objective about our reality. It's a question of balance sure. Some people caught in the objective reality trap tend toward being very cynical and too matter-of-fact to the point of unempathy. Some people also get caught in the trap of being so subjective about things they start to sound a little too other-worldy to be Real.

Of course this is just MY perspective on things.

It's GOOD to focus on the stuff that is lovely in our lives. We've done little of that in our past history as a modern culture. But its also WISE to not get too hung up on trying to see everything as a part of some hyper spiritual exercise in Subjectivism too. I didn't just "rez" this computer through attractive positive thinking... we bought it after long discusson on its merits with cold hard cash that we earned through very objective hard work.

I buy the occasional lottery ticket and can attract for all I'm worth, the the winning first division prize, but I rarely get it let alone any prize at all...no matter how positively I think about it - (and many who follow "Law of Attraction" thinking would say that that argument is faulty anyway).

Sometimes it just feels damn GOOD to be grumpy and angry and full of "bah humbug" about everything that we haven't got or want or need!

As I said... People is People. We do as we do for our own interests despite all our nattering about doing it for the "good of all".

It's when we have a focus on a real Someone OUTSIDE of our SELF, and we forget to be so egocentric and all-knowing and all-seeing and approach life from the perspective of keeing it real in grateful acceptance and trust along with humble awe... then we tend to stumble on happiness in spite of everything bad that is currently happening to us. And yes... even Christians need to realise this too!

Why most leadership sucks..including mine

I have been tagged by John McKenna at The Leadership Epidemic to comment on this meme he has put forth into the Blogosphere.

Does all Leadership actually "suck"?

No.

There is leaderSHIP and LEADERship.

Note my attempt at scripting art there in those words. :)

A "SHIP" requires a captain who can steer a compliment of crew and resources across hazardous waters to a nominated port. There is a clear description of priorities, purpose, and effort required by all the cogs in this massive wheel of undertaking. A "SHIP" cannot sail itself. A crew maybe made up of many individuals with plenty of opinions and experience but a part of the Captains job is to ensure that all those opinions and all that experience is harnessed effectively for the "good of all" in reaching the shore across the sea. A ship without a Captain or any leader for that matter is a somewhat sloppily managed vessel of disorganised tacking...sometimes against the wrong winds.

There are naturally gifted Captains who through their temperament and talents, their expertise and experience, are able to be clear in their purpose but also effective in keeping the morale and focus of the crew. They are strong willed enough to make the tough decisions and bring them into effect but not without being mindful of the husbandry and care for their team mates, the crew. The "SHIP" is what is important here. It's a collective thing. A combined effort of everyone doing their job and with focused energy and impetus.

....and then there is "LEADER"ship!

A "LEADER" is about his or her personal agenda. The ship is merely a means to an end. There is wealth, power, prestige and glory on the shore at the other end. The goal for the "LEADER" is to get to these goodies as soon as practically possible at all costs. The crew are merely servants in the process of achieving personal will and pride. The job may still get done and the ship will dock safely at the other side... without the crew deciding to commit mutiny... but the unseen costs maybe quite high.

Across human history we have "appointed" leaders of both types to fulfil a role in our collective tribal existences. We appoint some leaders who are qualified to lead a ship and lead it with careful consideration for the welfare of everyone involved in the quest. We also appoint leaders who are autocratically determined to run roughshod over anything and everyone to achieve their goals.

Neither leadership style is really that bad in and of itself. We do very much tend to like and admire the first kind in our current culture, as its more democratic and appears to be more friendly-like and so on. But both kinds of leadership serve a purpose at their given time.

Some really autocratic and unethical behaviour in leadership has led to a nation/country/people to collectively change their thinking and behaviours and rise up to make the world a better place for everyone. The "LEADER"ship they endured absolutely sucked at the time of its implementation and a great many people suffered under its expression, however, collective wisdom suddenly begins to prevail among the masses when this happens and great improvements for future generations are made through the denial of such "LEADER"ship.

Some really, really good leader"SHIP" has quietly and carefully brought people together in a spirit of passionate commitment to making the world a better place. Consider Christ's example in this; a very humble man (His divinity aside if you prefer)... who by his gentle and consistent example changed the world for more than a few generations!

As for me, my leadership "style" is one of never assuming I know it all! I do like to share my passionate vision - when I have one - with people, though. I have been in leadership situations and I worked hard... (a leader by definition always works hard, either doing the job or trying hard to avoid doing the job :)). I have been in leadership situations where I was the one calling the shots and in leadership situations where I was able to let the team become passionate with a shared clarity of purpose. If my leadership ever "sucked" in those moments, it was because I lost a sense of my purpose and did not have a clear focus on the port ahead in choppy seas. That's when things changed and a new leader came into being and a new sense of collective purpose was realised.

Most leadership is just what it is in its Moment. It only appears to "suck" when it seems to be working against our own personal or collective will.

Time heals in extraordinary ways and the "suckiness" of those situations is usually mitigated by a collective will to create a better style, a better Leader, a better collective wisdom, a stronger desire to improve the lot for all the people. For that reason no leadership really sucks in the end ...it just IS as it is, moving people forward or back through time and future... just like a ship that tacks with or against the wind across the water.

For as long as people inhabit the earth they will demand that we are led by something or someone. It's who we are.

Tagging craze!

It seems bloggers are in the throes of a a craze similar to when I was a child on the playground and we played a particular game for weeks on end with intense focus and passion.

I recall we played this particular game of "Poison Ball" every opportunity we got during recess and lunch. The game had two players either end of the "court" and everyone else was in the middle. A basketball was then thrown between the two end players across this court with the aim of tagging as many of the bodies in the middle on its way through. if you were in the middle and got belted by a highspeed basketball, you had to join the end of the court from which the ball had been thrown. The last person standing in the middle was deemed the "winner" no matter which end player had the most players on his end of the court.

Then there was the hopscotch craze which I think I actually started come to think of it. Most hopscotch was a basic T shaped pattern of boxes chalked onto the ground. You placed a stone or block of wood into the first square. Then hopping on one foot you had to both hop and kick the stone into the next correct numbered square to move ahead. If you touched your free foot to the ground, it was the next persons turn. If the stone went outside any of the lines, you were "out" and disqualified from further play. The winner was the one who successfully could kick their stone from square number 1 through to square number 7 or 8 I can't remember. Anyway, I "invented" a rather complicated version of hopscotch that involved having to kick the stone across a number of squares and and back and forth in a kind of zigzag though the re-designed grid. It became somewhat of a hit...even with the boys... as it implied a lot more kinesthetic skill to achieve good results. We played it for numerous weeks until for some reason another craze came along.

And now here we are in cyberspace playing almost exactly the same kinds of games but in a virtual and textual context.

Tagging each other with plea's for posts and linkages.

There are however, no winners or losers in these new "grown-up" versions of internet Hopscotch and Poisonball. This new form of tagging is more about a group of like-minded bloggers backing each other up to get "ratings", traffic and just good old fashioned information sharing.

The Individual voices amongst us are looking for a Tribe in which they can belong I think. We start out blogging to express our own individual point of view and then want others to play along, so we invent these games to find those, out there, who are willing to play by the same "rules" that we have assumed for our own world view.

I'm not being cynical here. It's a natural and very normal part of the collective human behaviour to want to do this. The dichotomy of autonomy and collective soul is always present in the human being. We are both individual and family..it just goes with the territory of blogging that we gravitate to those bloggers on the growing numbers of lists that match our own values and opinions on specific ethical grounds.

So when I was recently tagged for the Personal Development List, it is probably congruent and coherent to assume that I will be henceforth tagged for various other off-shoot lists too.

I'm now tagged to comment on the new "list" (if it can be called thus), for the topic Why most Leadership sucks...including yours

I'm not going to do that in this post though. Read the next one for my thoughts on the topic. :)

Ich schreibe Deutsch

Heute schreibe ich ein Blogpost zum esten Mal in Deutsch.

Ich lerne seit fast 6 Monaten und ich kämpfe immer noch mit Verben und Bedeutungen.

Ich glaube, ich werde mit der Zeit und Übung besser werden.

Bleiben Sie dran!


Today I'm writing my first Blogpost in German. I've been learning for 6 months and I still struggle with verbs and meanings. I guess I will get better with practise. Stay tuned!

blogs blogs blogs

So as if I had nothing else to do lately.... I keep seeing that giant list of Personal Development Blogs I posted about y/day and I feel strangely compelled to waste some time perusing them all and selecting the ones I really connect with to add into my Bloglines page.

It's totally crazy to assume I can do this right now though. My life is supremely busy enough at present. I am however, really glad I have taken the time to make this list work for me here as I can now choose a new blog on a whim to go read and enjoy.

I don't listen to much "news" on the radio anymore and nor do I read much of it in the papers. The "news" as we get these days, is often a bunch of half-truths and hearsay tackled together in some poor cousin version of Gossip! I don't find any useful information I can actually do something with. If I felt I had the power to change the state of the world via listening to the "news", I'd have done so long ago. All the "news" ever did was frustrate me, make me anxious, sad, depressed and feel incredibly powerless against the the forces of evil present in the world.

When I was younger, I used to write carefully constructed letters to the editor (LTTE) of our local paper in protest at various political/social issues I thought were just plain wrong! I don't even do that anymore! It doesn't change anything other than release my angst in a public forum and that doesn't engender much change I've found.

Blogs on the other hand do something entirely differently than make any commentary on the "news". They are almost like Letters to the Editor in a way - but, there is a different kind of energy to them even so. Blogs also provide the viewpoint of one individual just like LTTE. However, blogs have a voice that is very different on the whole to those you would read in the Whine Columns of any tabloid newspaper.

That voice which I generally read in a blog, is unique and natural for the most part. It is entirely contrived in the heart, mind, soul and experience of the writer. They are not as carefully constructed as most LTTE's but they are often much more coherent all the same.

I find these voices much more informative and world-changing in their content. There are thoughts in the collective mind of bloggers across the Web 2.0.07 that resonate with the same fundamental concepts. I find myself revelling in this collective consciousness despite the diversity and differences within the various individual postings.

There is more "news" to me in the blogosphere than in the current commercial excuse for information via traditional media. I feel compassion for journalists of integrity who love their work and seek to make a difference in this world through making sure people hear the truth behind the stories. Thing is, so much of that truth is either cleverly hidden or just blatantly hijacked by commercial interests. So many people can be duped into believing so much that is just plain wrong! All it seems to take is the illusion that "Everyone thinks like this". When the "news" is broadcast, the facts are presented from the perspective of the Little everyMan and the hard core truth is either ignored or hidden and I guess that must frustrate honest Journalists who want do more than just tell stories.

I guess one of the problems with The Truth in news is that The Truth is so polarizing. It either is or it isn't. There are no shades of grey, no fences to sit on, no compromises, no negotiations. Truth just IS. It isn't even relative only that people make it so. The "news" on TV and in papers seems to present this image of it being the wellspring for The Truth. I have found it lacking rather badly in that respect.

Blogs do something entirely different to "news". They provide information across all truths (not necessarily The Truth)... the truths of individuals, from their experiences and thoughts, their temperaments and talents. These truths are all relative in that sense as they are as unique as the fingerprints of their creators. There are shades of colour, diversity of idea, opinion and even challenging rhetoric. This doesn't offend me in the same way as traditional news media has. I can accept a multiplicity of unique truths because these are truths of individuals. They are not packaged as the collective opinion of the Little everyMan.

So, instead of hearing and reading "the news", I choose to read blogs for my information right now because they sing to me in far, far greater ways of the potential in mankind toward justice and peace for all - many truths leading toward The Truth.

How great the power of the individual who has mastered the art of gentle words.

the PDB list

Last week I got an email from Alexys over at Unraveling the Spiritual Mystique. The darling, but very naughty girl added ME to the Personal Development List that's currently doing the rounds in the blogosphere.

My first reaction...no kidding...was to swear with three words starting with "What the...?" (the last word *blush* is henceforth edited out). Once I recovered from the total shock I was amazed to see the company my wee missive here is being included amongst. There are bloggers on this list whose league I could not imagine emulating and yet, here I am...included among them! *heart beats rapidly with trepidation*.... the responsibility of this is rather intimidating but I am rather enjoying the brief glare of the roving spotlight all the same :)

So anyway.... blogger is supposed to be intuitive enough to just include the hyperlinks to all the blogs on the list in one smooth, easy, cut and paste effort. HA!

Alas and alack! It's taken me days to laboriously, one by one, copy each link for each blog and insert them in here. That "intuitive" blogger thingy just wouldn't work for me no matter what I did. I guess I can say I "belong" on this list now just because it cost me time and sweat making the list below all show up! *giggle*

Seriously though. Many MANY thanks to Alexys for including lil ol' me on the list and thanks to Priscilla Palmer for spreading the list in the first place.

I'm supposed to add another blog to this list. It's taken me some time to decide, but I wish to add Maria Gracia and her Get Organized Now! Weblog. She's a bit of a sweetie and a very professional organized person indeed who provides inspiriation and support to many thousands of people around the world in helping them sort out the minutiae of their lives.

And here is the list......

Personal Development List

Aaron Potts at Today is That Day
Adam Kayce at Monk at Work
AgentSully at Life Learning Today
Al at 7pproductions.com
Alan Torres at Made to Be Great
Alex Shalman at AlexShalman.com
Alexander Kjerulf at The Chief Happiness Officer
Alexys Fairfield at Unraveling The Spiritual Mystique
Albert Foong at urbanmonk.net
Amber at Random Mangus
Amie Ragan at Psychology of Clutter
Amy Hedin at There is no Maximum to Human Potential
Andrea Learned at Learned on Women
Andrea J. Lee at Money, Meaning, and Beyond
Andy Wibbels at AndyWibbels.com
Anita Pathik Law at Power of four Way
Anna Farmery at The Engaging Brand
Antonio Thornton at AntonioThornton.com
Ariane Benefit at Neat & Simple Living
Ask Lucid at Ask Lucid Spiritual Development
Barbara Sliter at Creatorship
Belle Wong at Abundance Journal
Billy Smith at The Organic Leadership Blog
Blogfuse at LifeDev
Brad Isaac at Achieve It
Brian Clark at Copyblogger
Brian Kim at briankim.net
Brian Lee at geniustypes.com
Bob at everyeveryminute
Cam Beck at ChaosScenario
Cara Lumen at The Success Magnets With Cara Luman and Your Second Wind Blog
Carlon Haas at Possess Less Exist More
Chris Marshall at Martial Devlopment
Christine Kane at ChristineKane.com
Clyde at Feeling Good
Conceive, Believe, Achieve at Conceive, Believe, Achieve
Craig Harper at Motivational Speaker
Curt Rosengren at Occupational Adventure
Cyres at Cyres Matters
Damian Carr at Soul Terminal
Daniel Sitter at Idea Sellers
Dave Schawbel at The Personal Branding Blog
Dave Schoof at Engaging the Disquiet
Davers at Language Trainers Blog
David Allen at The David Allen Company
David Bohl at Reflections on Balance
David Fitch at David Fitch.com
David Rogers at How to Have Great Self Confidence
David Seah at David Seah.com
Dawud Miracle at dmiracle.com
Dean Lacono at Law of Attraction for Beginners
Debbie Call at Spirit In Gear
Debbie LaChusa at 10 Step Marketing Collection
Debra Moorhead at Debra Moorhead.com
Des Walsh at Thinking Home Business
Dick Richards at Come Gather Round
Dominic Tay at Personal Development for Winners
Don Simkovich at Hey Don
Donald Latumahina at Life Optimizer
Donna Karlin at Perspectives
Dr. Charles Parker at The Core Psych Blog
Dr. Hal at Northstar Mental fitness blog
Drew Rozell at Drew Rozell.com
Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity
Edward Mills at Evolving Times
Ellen Weber at Brain Based Business
Emmanuel Lopez at The Adventures of Motivatorman
Ellesse at Goal Setting College
Elly Jolly at Jolly Life Coaching
Enoch Tan at Mind Reality
Eric Napier at Quotation Collection
Frank Kanu at Frank Uncovers Excellence in Leadership
Frank Roche at KnowHR Blog
Galba Bright at Tune Up Your EQ
Gleb Reys at Personal Development Ideas
Grayson at Modern Worker Blog
Gretchen Rubin at Happiness Project
Gustav at Success-is-in-you.com
Guy Kawasaki at How to Change the World
Gyanish at Diethack
Halina Goldstein at The Inner Travel Journal
Hilda Carroll at Living Out Loud
Henrik Edberg at The Positivity Blog
Honman at Open Your Mind to Prosperity
Inkedmn at The Cranking Widgets Blog
Itzy Sabo at Email Overloaded
Jacklyn Ker at Inspiring and Empowing Lives
Jason and Michael at Black Belt Productivity
Jason Ivers at A Miracle a Day
Jason Womack at Fit and Effective
Jay White at dumb little man tips for life
Jean Browman at Transforming Stress Into Power and Cheerful Monk
Jeff Lilly at Druid Journal
Jeffrey Phillips at Think Faster
Jennifer at Goodness Graciousness
Jeremiah Owyang at Web Strategy by Jeremiah
Jerry Hart at Blue Print to emarketing
Jerry Lopper atPersonal Growth
Jim stroup at Managing Leadership
Jim Walton at Black In Business
Joan Schramm at Accelerating Momentum
Joanna Young at Coaching Wizardry
Joe Vitale at Dr. Joe Vitale at Zero
John Pratt at John Pratt International
John Place at John Place Online
John Wesley at Pick The Brain
Jon at Join The Secret
Jonathan at Smart Wealthy Rich and Freelance Folder
Jory Des Jardin at Pause: Meaningful Work
Josh Bickford at Reach For Magnificence and Reach for Magnificence
Julia Rogers Hamrick at Julia’s Blog: Journal of the Journey Home to Eden
Julie Bonner at Declutter It
Kailani at An Island Review
Kammie Kobyleski at Passion Meets Purpose
Karen at Journey with Water Learner
Karen Lynch at Live The Power
Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space
Karl Staib at Karl Staib.com
Kevin Kinchen at Creative Power of Thought
Killeris at Attitude, The Ultimate Power
Kim and Jason at Escape Adulthood
Kim George at Doing What You Can Do
Kirsten Harrell at Ipopin
Krishna De at Biz Growth News and Todays Women in Business
K.L. Masina at Be Conscious Now
Leah Maclean at Working Solo
Laura Young at The Dragon Slayer’s Guide to Life
Lee Nutter at bmindful
Leo Babauta at Zen Habits
Life Reflection at Universe in a Single Atom
Linda Salazar at Awaken The Genie Within
Lisa Gates at Design Your Writing Life
Liz Strauss at Successful Blog
Lodewijkvdb at How to be an Original
Lola Fayemi at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development
Lorraine Cohen at Powerfull Living
Luciano Passuello at Litemind.com
Lucid at Spiritual Suggestions
Lyman Reed at Creating a Better Life
Maddy at Illuminated Minds Want to Know
Maria Palma at The Good Life
Marianne Williamson at Journal
Mark at The Naked Soul
Mark Forster at Get Everything Done
Mark McManus at Build Your Life To Order
Mark W Shead at Productivity 501
Martin Avis at Kickstart Daily
Matthew Cornell at Matt’s Idea Blog
Meg Haworth at Life Lessons From Your Soul
Melanie Benson Strick at The Success Blog
Merlin Mann at 43 Folders
Michelle Moore at Happiness Blog
Michael Port at The Think Big Revolution
Mike St. Pierre at The Daily Saint
My Everyday Planner at My Everyday Planner
Nancy Tierney at Unconditional Confidence
Neil Patel at Quick Sprout
Nic Askew at Monday 9AM Blog
Nick Smith at Life 2.0
Nneka at Balanced Life Center
Organize-It at Organize-It
Pamala Slim at Escape From Cubicle Nation
Pamm Larry at My Spiritual Dance
Patricia Singleton at Spiritual Journey of a Lightworker
Paul at Paul’s Tips
Peggy Payne at Peggy Payne’s Boldness Blog
Peter at I Will Change Your Life
Peter Aldin at Great Circle
Peter Haslem at Necessary Skills
Phil Gerbyshak at Make It Great
Philippe Matthews at Shockwealth
Priscilla Palmer at Personal Development Demands Success
Raymond Salas at Zenchill Powertools
Reg Adkins at ElementalTruths
Rich Schefren at Strategic Profits
Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness
Rick Cooper at The PDA Pro
Ririan atRirianproject
Rob at 7Breaths
Rob Cooke at Leave the Office
Robert at Compassionate Council
Robin Yapp at Yapp 3.0
Robyn McMaster at Brain Based Biz
Roger Von Oech at Creative Think
Rolf F. Katzenberger at Evomend
Rosa Say at Managing With Aloha Coaching
Ryan Marle at The Alpha Project
S.J. Yee at Personal Development for the Book Smart
Sam at Aquire Wisdom and Live with Passion
Scott Adams at The Dilbert Blog
Scott Bernadot at Keeping The Secret
Scott Ginsberg at Hello, My Name Is Blog
Scott H Young at Scott H Young
Scott McArthur at McArthur’s Rant
Self Pursuit at Self Pursuit
Seth Godin at Seth’s Blog
Shane Navratil at Zoomstart
Shauna Arthurs at Breathing Prosperity and Follow Your Path
Shaheen Lakhan at GNIF Brain Blogger
Simone at Dynamic Living
Simone and Mandy at Outfit Inspirations
Slade Roberson at Shift Your Spirits
Sleeping Dude at How to Wake Up Early
Sonora Jayne Case at Positive Realities Coaching
Spike at Organize It
Stephanie and Jeffrey at Brains on Purpose
Steve Olson at Steve-Olson.com
Steve Pavlina at stevepavlina.com
Steve Roesler at All Things Workplace
Stephen at HD bizblog
Steven Aitchison at Change Your Thoughts
Surjit at Gurushabad
Susan Sabo at Productivity Cafe
Ted Demopoulos at Blogging For Business
Terry Starbucker at Ramblings From a Glass Half Full
Thom Quinn at Qlog
Tim Ferris at 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog
Tom Peters at Tom Peters.com
Tom Spanton at TRCoach
Tim Taylor at My Agapic Life
Tony D Clark at Success From The Nest
Torlink at You Create Reality
Travis Wright at Cultivate Greatness
Trizoko at Trizoko.com
Trevor Gay at Simplicity is the Key
Troy Worman at Orbit Now!
Tuck Self at Rebel Belle Blog
Tupelo Kenyon at Tupelokenyon.com
Ubertech at Geeks Guide To GTD
Vickie at Contemplate This
Wally Bock and his real-life management insight at Three Star Leadership
Wan Qi at Meditation Forum Mantras
WildBill at PassionateBlogger

and these collaborated sites:
Burst Blog
Daily PlanIt
Did I Get Things Done
GTD Wannabe
Life Coaches Blog Strategies for a Greater Life
Lifehack.org
Transformational Girlfriends

The I'm in Time

There's a "me" too.

In the word Time.

I only just noticed that you know. The fact that the word Time has two variations of personal pronouns is interesting to me in a metaphorical sense.

I am in Time, of Time, out of Time, through Time, beyond Time. And yet Time controls me like no other invisible thing.

Time could be equated to God. It's infinite, indefinite and mystifying, confounding us when we think we have it measured and mastered. When we want it to move fast it moves at the pace of a snail. When we want the moment to never end, it whisks us away from it between heartbeats.

I am ruled by Time and yet Time cannot seem to contain me. I watch the clock to get the work done and I curse it when I'm having the time of my life! I am on time for meetings and late for work! I am in tune with the rythms of my life and out of step with my To Do By..List.

As humans, we order our lives around events and seasons that represent the passing of time. We celebrate festivals, birthdays, anniversaries, seasonal changes; we even order our lives through the rythmic patterns of habits we do every day.

Time is all around us and no matter how many times we throw the clocks away, it is there... tapping out lifes heartbeat according to its own design.

There is no 'u' (you) in Time because Time isn't about the other. Time is about me and my responsibility for it. Time demands that I take notice of it and respect it. Time requests that it be me who finds the space in my life to enjoy the pleasure of being with loved ones and friends. I am not take Time for granted but it allows me the freedom to do so if I so choose.

Time is more than a mathmatical equation, more than a physics conundrum on the Space/Time Continuum! Time is an Entity in its own right. A cold, clinical, über-rhythmic sentinel on the journey of life. Clear-headed and calculating, Time is neither romantic or artistic and yet it allows all these things to happen just because its necessary and good to do that.

Our whole entire lives since conception into Eternity, are governed by the effect of Time in every context.

Does that scare you? Your choice!

Last.fm

Many of you might be very surprised at the sort of music I tend to listen to. You'd think that at 45 years of age I'd be right into the usual pop music of my particular generation (I was a 60's child, a 70's teen and an 80's rager :) I kinda lost the 90's to rearing children).

I am not. I like a lot of the music of my youth but straight up pop bores me after awhile. These days I can listen to most kinds of music except maybe traditional country music which sends shivers up my spine in sheer horror and cringe. I do however like a little bit of classical or some light opera occasionally.

For big chunks of listening time however, give me some Alternative Grunge Rock or Ambient, Psychill, Trance, or Trip hop on iTunes or Last.fm Radio

I know! I am so weird.

I mucho prefer what my kids are listening to than what my peers tend to listen to...unless they happen to be blokes! For some reason my tastes in music seem to be much more "blokey" than what my girlfriends tastes are inclined towards. Perhaps I'm wrong but I find I share more music tastes in common with men than I do with many women of my demographic.

Here's my new page at Last.fm Radio. I used to have one of these some time back but somehow neglected to record my username and password for it so it has since been lost to the www.cyber.ether!

With my lovely Preciousss now calling most of the shots in terms of my ears and time... I figured I might as well add the applet to her and renew my affiliations.

And check out the wee widget for Last.fm Alternative Rock I've embedded here :) 'Tis a cool thing really :)

A home for a bunny...

Our street rabbit was killed sometime last night.

I saw his wee little body in our kerbing on the street this morning before I left for a drive to pick up kids from an event last night.

We called him "Thumper" or "Bunnykins". Who knows how many names he actually had though seeing as he didn't really belong to anyone in the street - he was just the streets rabbit. Constantly visible in a garden or outside the kerb of some dwelling place.

He had "escaped" from some neighbours place about 6 years ago and was never successfully caught. As time went by, kindly neighbours got to know him and used to feed him proper rabbit food so he was quite large and fat and healthy instead of being the little undernourished runt of a thing he was when he first escaped captivity.

And so it was that Thumper became somewhat of a legend in our street. I think we all enjoyed seeing him nibbling on grass or hunkering down against the cold in the evening hours. He avoided our place though because of Billy our cat. In recent years he had become almost tame enough to be patted not that I ever got that opportunity but the kids did and they would remark on how lovely and soft his fur was to the touch. Mostly black with white and speckled markings on his throat and underside he was quite handsome and looked positively enormous some evenings with his ears up and elert for prowling miscreants on four legs :)

How animals know that there is someone gone from their kingdom is a mystery but after Billy died, Thumper used to enjoy sitting on our nature strip and watching the passing of the hours.

I'm quite sad now. He was a lovely rabbit and probabaly one of the easiest "pets" we ever had.

I do hope his death was instant and he didn't die in too much pain or discomfort last night. How awful for him after the rather idyllic life he has led thus far.

He brought along some friends this past couple of years so I think there are a couple more semi-wild rabbits in the neighbourhood somewhere.

Fare thee well Thumper Unknown. May you find your home at last.

Focus not

An interesting experience today.

I used the new voice viewer in Second life with Martin.

Now we have been talking in text chat and on rare occasions in voice in our usual Instant Message application for close on 18 months now.

Voice was always hard to achieve as it had that "all-or-nothing" quality to it. It wasn't that it didn't work...it just took a lot of intense concentration especially on Martins side of things.

But with Secondlife, it seems to be different.

In Secondlife, voice chat seems more natural somehow as we are DOING stuff other than just talking. It's like being in a room together and one person is doing their thing and you are doing yours but you can still talk if and when you want or need to. The focus is not as intense. It's quite liberating really. It means that for once we are not focused on the conversation so much but rather on natural friendship. We are not having to think hard about how we write things when trying to establish meaning and context. Instead, we are moving in and out of conversation in an ordinary way such as would be found between friends in every day life. The feedback we receive and give is more immediate and easier to understand and grasp.

This is in direct contrast to my experience with using text chat for the first time with my daughter the other day. Just as text chat revealed a new kind of relating to my daughter...so has voice in Secondlife revealed a new kind of relating to Martin. It's the same but "different" in that the focus is different in both experiences.

With my daughter, I've taken for granted the face to face conversational aspect of our relationship. We just ...talk! When I spoke to her in text that time...it highlighted aspects of her character I don't get to see so often in normal voice conversations. The focus however was more direct than usual. I was "tied" to that conversation because it was new for me. I also had to concentrate more about how I said things in words than I might have if I'd spoken them.

In the past, the level of focus in voice conversations with Martin was like this...we felt "tied" to the conversation rather than the relationship. With Secondlife, that has shifted and we can talk more freely and naturally because its more about the relationship and the friendship in that space.

I have had a strong impression of what I believed his character to be from text chat but now its being fleshed out (so to speak) by the difference in focus in using our voices to talk rather than constructing sentences in words.

None of this is better or worse than the other...its just an observation on the quality of focus required in talking to people in different ways.

Focus is the key here. It's not about how good the conversation is or isn't and nor is it about what the converstation is about or how its conducted; the point here is that in ANY type of conversation it is the kind of focus required to engage oneself within the relationship that becomes important.

There are times when either form of communication, text or voice, will demand a high level of focus - concentration - because its important to do that. Generally though, the intensity of focus in a chat application, both text and voice, seems higher than in natural conversation in "ordinary" life settings.

Using voice in our usual IM application was too focused for us...we were tied TO the conversation in voice rather than the relationship behind it. So we naturally opted for the slightly lesser focus of text chat as it took the focus from the conversation itself to our relationship, our friendship.

In Secondlife, using voice is less intense than using the text tools as we have more freedom to do things simulutaneously while we are conversing. It has an entirely different style of focus to it.

I was hestitant about using Voice in Secondlife and I still am to some extent. I know Martin reasonably well from our long year of regular - albeit text based - communications, so I trust him to use the SL voice client appropriately. I will probably be very shy though about seeking to voice chat with people I hardly know at all. That's just not my style.

Secondlife is a real playground. It's a theatre, a stage, a confidence tricksters delight. It's also got relational politics, angst, love, history joy, sorrow, stalking, winking, sex, fashion, travel, sights, beauty, ugliness, wonders, and marvels. It's not like Real Life but its definitely representative of EVERYTHING you can find in Real Life. For this reason you take nothing inworld very seriously and assume that everyone inworld is taking you very seriously indeed.

Voice in Secondlife is voluntary. Just as you can chose not to talk to a stranger you "meet" in the street in real life....so you can in Secondlife. Just as you make new friends through conversations in real life, so you can in Secondlife. Its not that these things are different as such...its just that they're not quite the same ;)

The thing I am finding fascinating is the dimension of Focus required at each of these layers of relationship. It's really interesting stuff to me.

My current mood sees me...

musing on how far I've travelled this past two years.

Not travelling in the sense of physical destinations but travelling in the sense of emotion and spirit.

I have travelled very very far. The "me" I was two years ago is a very different me from the one I feel I am now. I am not sure if I present a different persona of myself to the people around me but I definitely sense that I have changed significantly these past two long years.

I can't pin down a time when I began this journey in earnest but I know its been a long and winding road since October of 2005.

Life has slowed down and sped up. It has harboured amazing joys and incredible love and devastating lows and irksome duties to perform. In all this time thus far (I don't know when this journey will end either)... I have changed spots on some things and grown some in others.

I've morphed.

Into what only others could say really but from my introspection, I am suggesting the following as possible new spots in my ever-evolving make-up as the construct "mitch".

i - I am more inclined to breathe when stressed. I still stress out and panic about little things a lot but I am learning/have learned to let things go more and just let time heal it. It's never as bad as we think its going to be.

ii - I lost weight. Not just a little but a lot of weight. Pragmatic and obvious I guess (I have lost over 20kg since I started writing this blog). Spiritually I've also unburdened a lot of weight. The spiritual weight of judgemental attitudes and fixed ideas about things. I'm more open to stuff now, more willing to accept what others believe as their right to believe it even if I don't. I still pray for people of course but I don't try to preach anymore if its possible. I was always a little too preachy and I apologise to my God first and to you second if you copped an earful from me about the Paths of Righteousness. I figure witness is more about the life we live not the life we tell. I am a poor witness anyway and always have been but thank God he works in ways I never expect or know. I'm also learning to accept that NOTHING is impossible just that it happens when its the right time for it to happen not when I have it "scheduled" into my own hidden agenda.

I only thought I had a glass half full way of thinking about things and its natural for me to be like that on occasion but now days I see things from a fundamentally different perspective. Life isn't a line..its a circle... infinite and possible in ways we can barely begin to imagine. There are times when it seems glass half full and times when it seems glass half empty. Its not our job to try to make life happen as it "should", it is our job to make life happen as it can. So, I let myself imagine more and listen to the reassuring voice rather than the egocentric cynical one whenever I can.

iii - I am learning to accept that nothing and no one can make me happy in and of themselves/itself. Happiness is a transient in-the-moment thing. Happiness is what you make of your NOW not something you can achieve through the pursuit of it. Happiness arrives like a butterfly on your shoulder. If you attempt to capture happiness in anything you may be sorely disappointed.

Happiness is a gift and a treasure akin to food. You don't sit a cake on a table and just leave it ...you, and hopefully others, partake of it and enjoy it in the now. You may be able to save some for later but eventually the cake will be consumed or tossed out - it cannot last if its to be appreciated properly.

Chasing happiness is wasted effort. Let it go and come to you and RECOGNISE IT when it arrives...THAT is the key to understanding happiness.

iv - I am slowly slowly slowly learning to be more patient. I have learned that I was never the contented type at all. I have been restless all my life. On the surface, I may appear to be slothful and lazy sometimes but in reality I discovered that for me I am the eternally restless soul ever seeking the new experience, the new thing to try, the new friend, the new idea. I don't toss out old things easily but I do embrace new things very easily. I am actually rarely content with life in the now. Mine is a energy spirit seeking to explore and try life. As i get older, I may have lessons to learn in this area perhaps. I adore being home...sometimes for very long periods of time but home is a transient thing...its more spiritual than material in concept for me. I may have to learn to just be content that this is the way I am... Restless, Movable, Shift, Change, Experimental and Innovation.

v - I write more and i am beginning to accept finally that perhaps I have a gift afterall. For a long time I have treated my flair with words with disdain. I never ever believed I was a "good" writer. Even now, I still struggle to accept that I have ability in this craft. I harbour lots of secret desires to write stories of all kinds but when push comes to shove, I only ever write when I am in the frame of mind to write. To force me to write would dry up my well of creative thought like the sun. I write to tell the thoughts of my soul I cannot speak with my voice. I write to make the pressure come down inside of me. I write to teach and to learn. I write because its the easiest method of communication I have available to me.

Whenever someone tells me they enjoy my "Writing", i say a simple "Thankyou" and smile but internally I am often sceptical and think that maybe they are just being nice because they either know me or they don't want to be rude. I am learning to accept that perhaps my ability to write is my true voice in the world and therefore my greatest gift I can give to the world. I am a writer.

vi - I am learning to be self confident. I make excuses for all sorts of things and especially for my being here on this planet. I say sorry for no reason a lot and I bend to the will of those I percieve as being more "powerful" than myself. This has changed. I will not be bullied into thinking I am not worth it. I am worth it. It hasn't been christian "humility" i thought I was demonstrating, its been small me thinking. I am not small. I am what I am. No excuses.

So that's where I am at today, musing on how far I've travelled on the journey of being human these past couple of years. I have done things and thought things, wrote things I would never have considered a mere 5 years ago. Life changes. Life IS change. I change. I'll keep changing.

its all good :)

facets of a mind exposed

I had this rather surreal experience last night.

My daughter added me to her skype account. That sounds fairly mundane but while I was in the kitchen on Preciousss (my macbook)...she was here in the lounge on Uni1 (the windoze machine), and we "talked" together in text for the very first time.

It was weird.

I've known my daughter for all her 15 years of life. At least I thought I did. Our pattern of conversation and communication has been set in that time and we have become used to our method of relating together as mother and daughter.

Text chat exposed me to her wit and intelligence like no other form of communication has thus far. For the first time I felt like I was communicating not with my "child" but with a new "friend"...a person of maturity and wisdom. If we had met online as strangers I would have assumed this girl was much older than I know she actually is.

Where will this new avenue of communication take us both I wonder? It will be interesting to (re?) discover my daughters mind in time as we talk through the strange and unique method of text-based chat. Perhaps I won't so much find a new version of my daughter but a new friend as well :) That'll be very cool.

addendum: Reading back this post a bit later on...I realised I hadn't mentioned that I don't condone using text chat as a primary method of communication if you actually live with someone under the same roof. Hahahaha! It goes without saying doesn't it? That communication using ones voice, eyes, body and spirit is by far a more intimate and effective way of telling others our thoughts and feelings. Hmmm? I don't know but put it this way... my daughter and i aren't about to stop actually talking to each other like mothers and daughters generally do. Text chat is just another method of communicating that will add to our lives not detract from it.

the aching decision

We are currently going through Mama's personal effects.

It's HARD.

Only 24 hours ago I really didn't want much at all. Seriously nothing if truth be told. We just had a garage sale to get rid of a pile of our stuff and now here were people foisting...demanding even... that I gather up Mama's abandoned stuff like the proverbial pirate. I hate the process.

I have come to a point in my life where I want to pare back and minimise my attachment to things. I have other things to worry about and surrounding myself with piles of stuff isn't in that agenda anymore. I want to be unshackled from having to mind the stuff in my life. I still like stuff...but I want only what I really need and love now. I don't want to be the keeper of things in trust for an elusive moment in the future when someone else "in the family" may want it or love it. If I can't love it or use it now...its NOT valuable! Not to me anyway.

Mama meant a lot to me as a person. She was of great age. She has a lot of very old, very attractive stuff. But do I really NEED all that in my home and life? Will her grandchildren ever feel the pangs of sentimental attachment to these things we have acquired because they belonged to a memory - to their history?

I had to process my feelings a lot about this last couple of days. It's been really hard to come to terms with the family's insistence that we remember Marion through her stuff. Family heirlooms I guess are valuable to the decendant generations for about 100 years...after that it can get really complicated as to the history of the items and the value the decendants place on that history waxes and wanes like the moon. It's JUST STUFF in the end.

Therein lies my own dilemma. Whilst I want our kids to remember with great fondness their beloved Mama... they are not really interested in keeping great hoards of her stuff right now. That feeling may change in them in time though so I guess its important that hubby and I do select some things that were of value to mama in her day so that when our kids do want to remember where they came from, we have items that may (or may not) become valuable to them by that association.

It's just sooooo hard for me to do.

Hubby has collected a few things that are quite utilitarian and practical which I applaud. I am totally happy to use good quality well-built kitchen tables, and easy-to-clean salad tongs. Those things we can use. But as for the beautiful pieces of fine china, the exquisite crystal bowls with no real "use" other than they were Mama's and are quite pretty.... I dunno. I struggle. Much of this type of thing can't be displayed easily in our home and subsequently will be wrapped and locked away for years until they are checked, re-wrapped, and re-locked away again. It just seems so pointless and a waste. If these items were out and about and could be used and appreciated with their inherent purpose within them utilized, then the attachment our kids would have to them would naturally grow by long association with family and memories of good times past. But, as it stands now, they must languish in tissue paper and cardboard in a dark cupboard. Such a waste.

There is no USE in stuff without a purpose. Even if each item over and above what I actually needed were made of gold and silver, or embedded with precious stones, if it can't have a useful purpose, then its not really that valuable as a piece to remember my beloved Mother-in-Law by. It might as well be sold to someone who does see value and a purpose in it!

I guess I sound really callous and hard-nosed about this process. I do like stuff. I'm not suggesting I don't. What I do question is my inclination to want or need stuff that really has no value or meaning AT THIS TIME to me or my family. I don't need a lot to remember Marion by. I have inside my heart and mind, wonderful memories of her and yes I have chosen a few lovely things that I associate with her, which I will use and enjoy with great pleasure. I just don't want a lot of stuff with no meaning cluttering up our home just because of some familial concept of generational keepership for a distant future!

It's just stuff.

death is for the living

Mama passed away today 19th July 2007 at 4:20pm Eastern Standard Time.

I was not there to see her final breath.

I saw her lying in her death though; her face shrunk around the bones of her cheeks forehead and chin. Death is unbecoming to those who die in their old age. It isn't a pretty thing.

It is those we love and who remain alive after us; It is for them that death holds its greatest gift. In death we move on ....somewhere. (Perhaps.... who knows really in the end what the truth of that really is. As for me, my faith says it knows where she is :) And it is Good.). But in life, its those who are left to move on into the future - without the one who has died - that grow. In or out growth? It doesn't matter, it is still growth.

Marion Ruby Pitman left a massive legacy of love, humour and service to her fellow kind. She will be fondly remembered by many for years to come as a gracious and kind lady who gave of her time and resources in caring for others.

That is her gift to us. Memories of the things she did and shared amongst us; the changes she wrought in each of us through the impact of her life. Her death focuses our attention on these gifts and rewards us with a sweet and gentle imposition of her heart and soul, her spirit and her faith and how they've impacted on our own lives over the years. No one can underestimate the impact of a life on the future.

Therein lies the secret to immortality. When we live our lives in humility and grace, when we share ourselves openly with candour and compassion, when we grasp not for what is seen and held but for what is felt and understood - that is when we are immortalised in the love of those around us. They carry with them, into the future, the memory of our being and we are not easily forgotten when we are loved so well as this.

Death is not a punishment for the dead, but a gift for the living. It breathes new heart and focus into life so we might live it all the more abundantly. We shall miss Mama for sure - especially her cooking :). I for one am glad that I became a member of her family for she has brought me nothing but endless joy and blessed service over the years.

Thankyou God for the life of Marion Pitman.

Garage Sale

We are in the middle of having our very first garage sale here. I am sitting in our driveway after the initial rush and will just wait it out now until its "closing" time in about two hours.

We kept it very quiet about where our garage sale was going to be and we didn't advertise it until it was right on opening time. It was AMAZING the number of people that were cruising our street waiting for it to open. And as soon as I gave the nod they quite literally ran down our driveway to the tables!

It was like the Boxing Day Myer Stocktake sale!!! Wow! People everywhere hovering around the tables like hungry hyenas.

We have sold a bit of stuff but not nearly as much as I'd hoped of course. It appears there will be some trips to the charity stores in the morning to part with the rest.

I'm not really one for attending garage sales. Mainly because I like to DE-clutter rather than find space for even more stuff. I have this love/hate relationship with stuff. I "like" stuff but on my terms. So long as it has somewhere to "live" in my home and life it's okay to stay. But once it has outlived its usefulness or purpose then it MUST go and it drives me nuts if it doesn't go quickly. I can be patient of course but only for so long.

For many years now I've sent much of our surplus unwanted items to charity houses and been very happy to part with it that way. I shall continue to do that I think. There is a lot I've learned today about holding a garage sale and some of it is not all that pleasant. You need a lot of people power support and a strong will to survive the very determined efforts of others to get "a lot of stuff for nothing" etc etc.

It's actually less stressful to me to just donate it silently and anonymously. Stuff I have here that I "thought" would sell in a snap has not and stuff I thought was "trash" has walked out on wings. Amazing!

My feet are deathly cold sitting here though. That may be the biggest sacrifice to this event in the end. Trying to warm up my extremely cold feet once everything is packed up ready for donation tomorrow morning.

:) Life goes on and hopefully with less stuff attached! Hahahahaha!

chemical aftertaste

I had my first can of cola today for .... I think it must be around 3 months now.

I HAD been addicted to cola drinks for the past year or so opting not for the diet versions of these drinks but for the "Full leaded" versions thereof.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I went cold turkey on drinking cola and other soft drinks. I basically detoxed my system by eating no wheat, dairy or "empty" carbohydrates for about a month. I lost a fair bit of weight in the process but what interested me today was my reaction to having my first taste of a diet cola drink after going through such a process.

The chemicals in the diet version of this particularly well-known brand of cola, were obvious to my tastebuds. It was not really a pleasant experience and I confess to leaving the can more or less on the bench for quite some time getting warmer by the hour :) I occasionally had a sip from it but those sips never satisfied and nor did they make me feel "good". In fact, I actually felt a little off-colour after a particularly bigger gulp than normal. I've never drunk diesel fuel, but to my thinking it couldn't be much worse than the taste of that can of cola really. That's how bad the aftertaste seemed to me. I ended up tipping a good two thirds of the can down the drain at the end of my working day.

The up-shot of this is that I have now learned that cola drinks are really not that much fun anymore. Not for me anyway. Perhaps if I try a fully leaded version, I might think differently but right now I couldn't think of anything worse. My tastes have perhaps changed. We shall see in time. Very old, long term habits of a life-time are difficult to break and cola addiction is not much different to nicotine addiction in that sense I suppose.

Right now, I feel like I need a total detox in my body again. It feels unloved, unfed and decidedly dehydrated! My poor tongue feels like it has been licking sandpaper too for the day which is an unexpected side-effect.

Back to the water bottle and the vegie stirfries for me thanks :)

the things I need to learn

What today has taught me.... (especially having seen the movie Eragon which has touched me quite significantly for many reasons)

One: To stop and listen more to the reasoned experience of others

Two: To not panic so quickly but to stop and listen more to the reasoned experience of others

Three: To accept calmly the moment as it comes and not fight it so much. To stand inside that moment rather than stab at it with unreasoned intentions and thoughtless action.

Four: To LISTEN to the people who love me and want to actually help me instead of assuming they are just telling me what to do.

Five: To let love over-rule everything else and not my ego or my pride.


I am given to reactive behaviours in stressful situations. I tend to "try" and make decisions quickly assuming that these decisions that I make are for the benefit of everyone around me. I have learned today that it may not always be the case. What I assume are reasonable decisions- borne out reactions to trying situations - can in fact, make the situation worse not better. Sometimes it is better to let life slow down and even stop before reacting. To let time not spin by so but to let it stall and just allow myself to "be" inside that moment for a minute or two, with a quiet attitude of observance and waiting.

You see I have a dragon too like Eragon.

My dragon chose me out of everyone else to be his rider. He is older than time and younger than me. His experience and wisdom are evident in how he handles difficult things. He knows exactly, the panic and burden of fear within my heart when i do not know what I should do...but he has also learned how to manage that fear and panic and now he is teaching me what he has known for a long, long time.

It's hard for me to learn. I hate and detest being told what to do...by anyone :) I love my dragon though and need to respect him more and believe him when he tells me to calm down and be still. I can't ride him if I don't and he can't carry me if I don't. He is patient but also frustrated sometimes by my slowness to learn and absorb his words. But he chose me and nothing I do can break that bond between us now. We are tied together by an invisible and timeless ribbon of love and hope.

My dragon has courage but he is also vulnerable. I could survive my dragon but my dragon would never survive without me. That is not arrogant pride saying that either. My dragon would not...could not...be a dragon without me. It's his purpose to be MY dragon and it is my purpose to learn to be one with him in mind and thought. If that happens then together we may finally be invincible and I will make better decisions when stressed.

I just need to slow down and listen more to the reasoned experience of others.

Fog Creek and the German Man

Technology can be totally frustrating you know. :)

The other day I downloaded the optional update for my Second Life viewer here on Preciousss (the name I have given the Macbook ;)).

It did not go well.

Everytime I tried to log into the SL servers I crashed the viewer and it would freeze on my screen with that little coloured disc spinning merrily away for an age until I had to use the Force Quit option twice to get it to close.

To say I was stressed and unhappy about this was an understatement.

So in my annoyance I decided to move everything Second Life off my computer to the trash and start again. Empty Trash seemed like a good way to go to get the system clean. That's what I did. I emptied the trash.

I not only managed to get rid of the Second Life application but almost my entire HD as well.

SOMEHOW, all my applications had managed to wind up IN the TRASH and when I hit empty.... I was left with icons and not much else. Skype worked as did Office but nothing else worked.

I was distraught. I couldnt' figure out what to do so I called my Dad who kindly came around on Thursday evening and offered his limited help. I asked Dad because he has owned a Mac for nearly 5 years so I figured he might be a good choice. There wasn't much we could do expect reinstall the entire OS X system back onto Preciousss and hope for the best.

That worked. I had Safari and all my apps working again. Downloaded Skype successfully and again downloaded the Second Life viewer.

To no avail.

The SL viewer still refused to cooperate on Preciousss. It worked fine on the Windows machine over the other side of the room (it is now nicknamed Unimatrix One *grin* or Uni1 for short). But alas and alack... poor Preciousss languished with no real defined purpose in her life... I still haven't reinstalled Office for Mac on her yet or got around to getting the print option to work on the shared network but we'll get to that eventually.

I was really, really blue about it. I just couldn't shake the incredible desperation and feelings of total hopelessness in regard to my computer of all things!

Its' weird you know! I can be quite easily prosaic and pragmatic and such when it comes to the lives of People; I really am live-and-let-live when it comes to people. When it comes to my toys though, I just want them to WORK and when they don't... I get very depressed about them as if they were more important to me than the people they bring me closer to. I wonder why it is that I have this strange and rather distorted view of things?

So anyway.

Martin from Germany tried somewhat in vain, to get me to snap out of my stupid fatalistic thinking over poor Preciousss. It was killing me to think I would "never be able to play in Second Life on her again".

Yes! That is how low I can go! I am stressed over a GAME on a piece of technical hardware with no emotional capacity to love me back and yet I worry over it and fret, while all the while, I have a mother-in-law just down the road whom I adore and whom I may not see for a long, long time very soon. So weird!

We came up with a solution.

And now comes the rave part of this post. *grin*

Martin and I used the Fog Creek Copilot application to effectively give him control over Preciousss for 24 hours.

Yes! He lives in Germany and I live in Australia. Preciousss lives on a table near my front window in Australia. Martin works from his Cave over there.....waaaaayyyyyy over there! But amazing as it sounds...and it IS amazing! ...Yes! He played on Preciousss as if he were sitting in front of her and FIXED my problem!!! *grin*

.........well he is a nice bloke that way really! :) Rather enjoys rescuing damsels in distress I suppose! He is Drache afterall ;)

....but enough of raving about how clever Martin is (and he is clever make no mistake).... I really wanted to absolutely and categorically say that the tiny little thing we used from Fog Creek was simply amazing.

Yes... it was a little slow for Martin but it was Friday night here and cold out..... so internet traffic in Australia at that hour was bound to be pretty heavy. Not only that, we were doing this wirelessly so that makes it even more incredible at how successfully the copilot program worked! At least to me it does anyway.

It was rather like watching a Poltergeist take control of my cursor on the screen and start doing strange things of its own. Maybe it was a little like a mysterious ouiji board glass moving about seemingly without the assistance of any known hand! Even my husband commented on the strange feeling he had watching Martin scoot around Preciousss doing things to her I could never have begun to understand if he had tried to explain them to me in a text chat screen!

That's the beauty of a application like Copilot. Whilst it was HARD for Martin to do what he did...it would have been doubly hard if he had tried to explain it to me in words. The programme made it sooo much easier for us to get my problem sorted.

Of course the first thing Martin said when he got connected to my computer was "myyyyy precioussssss" which made me laugh out loud for the first time in a number of days! :) It was very cute and funny and I appreciated it because well... you don't just hand over the full rights to your computer to just "anyone".... You have to totally trust the person who says they can help and yeah... Martin totally proved his trustworthiness to me helping me out with this stuff. :) I wouldn't recommend anyone using Copilot unless its with someone they trust implicitly to do the right thing. :)

I am feeling so much better now. :) My lovely Macbook is almost back to normal. Once I can print my documents etc on the wireless or shared network, it will be even more wonderful. :)

So now I'm back in Second Life when I'm not doing other things, zapping around the grid, window shopping to my hearts content again and/or watching Martin's avatar build things (one does need some patience for that though which I don't often possess but if I can put in my 2c its not that bad really to make things in SL from scratch). I won't be updating the viewer again until I absolutely have to but in the meantime its fine just the way it is.

Thankyou sooooo much Martin AND Fog Creek for making it possible. Bliss :) Off to actually do work on Uni1 now. :) Blogging is such a good excuse to slack off. :)