Sunday, July 08, 2007

the things I need to learn

What today has taught me.... (especially having seen the movie Eragon which has touched me quite significantly for many reasons)

One: To stop and listen more to the reasoned experience of others

Two: To not panic so quickly but to stop and listen more to the reasoned experience of others

Three: To accept calmly the moment as it comes and not fight it so much. To stand inside that moment rather than stab at it with unreasoned intentions and thoughtless action.

Four: To LISTEN to the people who love me and want to actually help me instead of assuming they are just telling me what to do.

Five: To let love over-rule everything else and not my ego or my pride.

I am given to reactive behaviours in stressful situations. I tend to "try" and make decisions quickly assuming that these decisions that I make are for the benefit of everyone around me. I have learned today that it may not always be the case. What I assume are reasonable decisions- borne out reactions to trying situations - can in fact, make the situation worse not better. Sometimes it is better to let life slow down and even stop before reacting. To let time not spin by so but to let it stall and just allow myself to "be" inside that moment for a minute or two, with a quiet attitude of observance and waiting.

You see I have a dragon too like Eragon.

My dragon chose me out of everyone else to be his rider. He is older than time and younger than me. His experience and wisdom are evident in how he handles difficult things. He knows exactly, the panic and burden of fear within my heart when i do not know what I should do...but he has also learned how to manage that fear and panic and now he is teaching me what he has known for a long, long time.

It's hard for me to learn. I hate and detest being told what to anyone :) I love my dragon though and need to respect him more and believe him when he tells me to calm down and be still. I can't ride him if I don't and he can't carry me if I don't. He is patient but also frustrated sometimes by my slowness to learn and absorb his words. But he chose me and nothing I do can break that bond between us now. We are tied together by an invisible and timeless ribbon of love and hope.

My dragon has courage but he is also vulnerable. I could survive my dragon but my dragon would never survive without me. That is not arrogant pride saying that either. My dragon would not...could a dragon without me. It's his purpose to be MY dragon and it is my purpose to learn to be one with him in mind and thought. If that happens then together we may finally be invincible and I will make better decisions when stressed.

I just need to slow down and listen more to the reasoned experience of others.


RubyShooZ said...

I'm new here, hi.

I think these are things we all need to learn and thank you for posting them. You've given me reason to pause this morning and it's much appreciated.

You have a lovely way with words.

Michelle said...

Hello Rubyshooz. Welcome. :)

Thankyou for your generous encouragement and reply to this rather obscure post I made here :)

Sometimes the line between poetry and prose must be blurred a little so as to express the deeper things of the heart. Thanks for letting me know that this blurring of the lines resonated for you.

I hope you keep reading and commenting here in the future. Lovely to "meet" you.