Monday, February 26, 2007

Soulmating again

This theme is currently recurring for me and I still struggle with it.

I wrote this awhile ago and while I still believe a lot of what I wrote in that piece...the IDEA of there being one ideally matched person to your inner bean still intrigues and absorbs me with its potential.

What does it MEAN to BE a soulmate to someone?

It is my understanding thus far that there are a couple of things that constitute an accurate picture of a true soulmate partnership.

The definition of soulmate in this context would be that of your "other" half. The subtle resonant piece of "your true self" that has been thus far "missing" from your life. It would be the unique expression of a side of you that you understand implicitly and "know" instinctively...except that it resides in a completely different persona.

The idea is that when you connect with this other half of your soul - there is a vibrational charge of emotional, psychic, mental, and occasionally physical understanding of that other person.

They may not look anything like you. They may not even have the same tastes, the same likes and dislikes or the same background as yourself. However, there is a very strong and compelling connection between the two people that goes beyond mere "Best Buddies"; you just get each other without having to try. The relationship is entirely natural and instinctive.

You may not necessarily always understand each other on a surface level as in basic communication - aka language etc - but you very much understand each other at a much more fundamental and wholistic level.

One of the other key factors is that once you meet with your soulmate, it is difficult to be separate from that other. The desire to connect the two halves of the soul is strong and inevitable. This is not always sexual in nature however. There is every likelihood that the relationship is one of Teacher/Student, Muse/Creative, Elder/Youth in appearance. The intrinsic underlying depth of understanding and respect is what is most apparent.

Our Soulmate KNOWS us in ways no one else can truly know us. They may also drive us completely nuts with their own unique foibles and personality but at the same time we feel very much "at home" with them and need, enjoy and desire their companionship and company very much.

There is also the liklihood that your soulmate can cause you considerable pain, particularly emotionally. The pain is possibly bitter-sweet and perhaps unbearable, but the reasons for it may be part of a complicated lesson of life that you learn through this connection.

Soulmates are about the big picture of life; a purposeful journey together toward growth and maturity that can have massive repercussions for everything - and everyone - they encounter.

That famous line, "You complete me", in the movie "Jerry Macquire" became the catchphrase for soulmates everywhere, and in a way our soulmate - under this particular definition - does indeed "complete" us in ways beyond human comprehension and sometimes reason too.

The relationship is eternal, spiritual, instinctive, resonant, effective and charged with emotion, intuition and creative energy.

So if you do find such a soulmate then God speed to both of you as you travel your path together. It could be quite a ride :)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

If you don't like it after the first bite... I'll give you your money back!

That's exactly what I tell new customers to our pie and pastry shop. I've been doing that for the past three years or so. It took a fair bit of courage to do it the first time but now I'm used to it and don't hesitate to offer our new clientele a money-back-guarantee on their take-away food purchase.

Basically I guarantee them that if they don't like their first couple of mouthfuls of one of our pies or pasties, then I will return them their money back no question!

Well... I "would" have questions such as what was it they didn't like about the product etc. That's just basic "How can we fix this?" stuff that kind of information.

But I've only had two customers return the uneaten portion and ask for their money back! That was two years ago! There was an issue with our water supply at the time and we solved it swiftly. The problem actually wasn't ours but we wore the cost - small as it proved to be to keep those customers happy.

I had a customer come in today and he asked if we had any Pizza Pies left and I said "Of course!" and as he handed over his money, he looked me in the eye and said "You gave me a guarantee last time that I would totally love this pie - and I did - so now I'm back for another one!"

And that money-back offer still stands! If he hadn't like it this time - I'd have given him his money back!

Most customers I say this to are absolutely blown away by a mere bakery offering them such a gurantee! But it sure makes them smile. You see its a win-win for all of us. The customer is reassured they're not going to be disappointed either way and I'm constantly reassured by the fact they always come back and tell me how much they enjoyed their pie. Its as if offering them the guarantee, guarantees I will get positive feedback everytime! It also tells me that our product is still among the best and yummiest available! :)

It's been good for business that line! Don't knock it! :)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Entschuldigen Sie, bitte. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

I'm getting serious now! The book and CD's arrived today :)

My Goddaughter, lives in Germany. She's only 2 but it's hard to talk to her because she doesn't yet know any English and I am far, far worse than her at German!

So even though "Ich verstehe ein bisschen Deutsch" ... I soooooo need to get better at it if I ever hope to communicate with her and her family effectively through the coming years.

Wünschen Sie mir Glück.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The inexorable "Yes"!

Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37 NIV

I'm still on about relationships! :) I probably always will be you know! Love and passion fascinate me. So does Romance! I enjoy pulling apart and re-constructing the nuances of how we, as human beings, operate and engage with each other socially.

So okay. A bible verse today huh? Yep! This does have a point - bear with me!

It's about how we communicate with our nearest and dearest; that what we say must match how we do.

We may say emphatically, and believe it to be true to our very core, demand we be given the benefit of the doubt when we say we love someone, that we adore them, that we shall support them in everything from here on in; but if that stuff isn't made clear in our being... then its not the Truth at all!

No one I believe wants an emphatic lie. A lie is an untruth that seeks to protect the egocentric Self from being made less than it wishes to be. A lie covers. It is deceitful and selfish. It is not about love or peace, hope or self-control! Its about manipulation and someone-else-control. A lie dishonours even when its meant to "not hurt anyones feelings".

Truth exposes and makes light fall in dark corners. It can be cruel but it is nonetheless the Truth. Truth is never relative. It just IS the Truth! Nothing can stand in the way of Truth. The truth is honest and it is compelling. The Truth makes things change. It can be uncompromising. Like the glare of the burning midday sun - the Truth makes known every shadow.

When we speak to those we love we need to remember this about Truth. It is obvious when there is Truth - when there isn't - there is fear, confusion, mixed messages, pain, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. There is no clarity or coherence here - just a jumbled mix of selves striving for recognition amidst the noise of empty words.

What we say to our loved ones must be borne out in our bodies - in our shape and persona - the truth of our words.

A lie can slide off the tongue like silk. We can detect lies with machines now because our body never lies. Our muscles, our matter, our being in this corporeal world is solid, immutable, inexorable Truth! We lie and our bodies defy it in tightened muscles, drawn in breaths, beads of sweat, blushes and rapid eye flickers! Our bodies can never lie (unless rigorously trained to be in agreement with the lie!)

What we say to our loved ones needs to match our actions. In order for them to trust us, the words that slip out of our mouths so easily, must bear the fruit of honesty, integrity and the resounding YES of Truth. To move our relationships forward, to progress and grow together in unity and potential harmony, the foundation of trust and love are built on our Yes being made a real Yes in the very fabric of our beings and our No being equally a real No!

It isn't about being positive or namby-pamby sugar and spice, this stuff; it's about having integrity and being consistent - coherent even - that our words have real meaning because they're backed up by our real action!

Be who and what you are by all means...and remember that what you ARE often speaks louder than what you merely say.

Friday, February 09, 2007

At the heart of it, there lies control

Self-absorption is an obvious general theme to this blog but you know...I don't always write this stuff for any readers I might have - although having readers is a really nice thing of course - sometimes I just write for me. It's my way of clarifying the thoughts I have had inside my head and morphing them into some kind of coherent form.

So with that preamble, you may now guess that the following is über introspective and very personal so if it bores you to hear people ranting and raving about their own stuff... leave now :)

The current journey on this path called the Evolving Emancipation of Michelle revealed another astonishing personal insight into my character today.

Relationships are strange beasts. They sneak up on you and take you by surprise and sometimes they suck and sometimes they sing.

We all of us want our relationships to sing sweetly all the time huh? I do!

I don't like conflict or noisome and unwinnable argumentative stuff in my relationships...and yet I seem to attract it! I'm a sucker for the hyper-dramatic scene I guess!

Most of my life has been a finely honed balance between twin desires. One is freedom: I am independant and stubborn and I do not like being told what to do or how to be! I'm not wilful, but I am quietly obstinate until I choose to change my mind. I like my own space! Having grown up in many different living environments that included strangers - not just family - I've learned how to get along with people! It has also encouraged a deep abiding NEED within me to have my own spaces. In my head, in my heart, in my body, in my world - I crave the freedom of solitude a lot.

The second is closeness. I long for very close, intimate and stable relationships that can weather all manner of emotional storms. I yearn for the kind of intimacy that doesn't necessarily involve sex, but is about the cojoined union of hearts and minds - a kind of coherence of soul bounded by strong loyalty and committment on the scale of a million lifetimes.

I rarely sustain that kind of closeness for I hardly ever allow myself to get "that" close to anyone even though I might want it so badly! And if I do get that close to someone...the relationship tends to dissolve over time due to the intensity of it. It quite literally burns itself out. I do it deliberately. Self-protection is a symptom of lack of confidence apparently. Besides, there are not many human-beings in this world who can tolerate this dichotomy in me for very long. It takes an individual with the patience of Job and a will of iron to live with and love Michelle! :)

I also don't get too close to most people because of that first one - the freedom one! The two are, to all intents and purposes, mutually exclusive. How can one be free AND close at the same time? How can one be close to another and yet feel like they're not being slowly suffocated by that?

So... here's the thing! I control.

I control where I never ever believed or knew that I was controlling!

The balancing act of achieving the kind of closeness with another person I crave and desire as opposed to my strong need to be completely unshackled by the constraints of that kind of partnership is a tough gig! It's no wonder I can seem so confused and vascillating at times.

Maybe all humans self-protect via their emotional sources. I am not qualified to say if that is or isn't so. But I do know I do.

And I do it by being a little aloof in some relationships - where I do not have a vested interest in the closeness aspect. Alternatively, I am more than a little intense in some relationships - where I do not have quite so high an interest in the freedom aspect or it is already a given.

I was always attracted to the unavailable (until I met my beloved husband) and now I can see why. The unavailable gives me an "out" (freedom) but it also consistently feeds that urgent desire inside of me for closeness and intimacy too.

And so I control my relationships to achieve both results - not only confusing those around me but myself above all! It seems I am rarely clear on what I want from my relationships and this has to change! I may do what I do instinctively, but perhaps its time now to Question my Beliefs on this stuff and grow wings of EITHER Independance OR Closeness.

Can I make this a choice? Don't know! The habits of a life-time of living and relating with other people will be/are tough to break - I don't even know if I really want to yet. It's scary to think that I may have to choose between one or the other in opposition to what I would naturally desire to do. It may not even be a wise thing to do. Perhaps I just need to BE as I am - as I always was - but let this new insight into my character develop its own verisimilitude.

I do know that I might need to let go of the control and that could be the hardest thing of all.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I never thought in a million years...

that I would be very seriously considering getting a macbook for my first laptop!

I'm still in "shopping" mode just for the moment but this is the best part of any new venture around and getting to know your product before you commit.

It's a bit like a romantic relationship really...between ones computer and ones self.

You kind of check each other out.
You "meet".
You decide if you like each other.
You get obsessive with each other and can't bear to be parted.
You feel a little bereft and lost when apart.
You settle into the comfortable rhythm that comes from intimate knowlege and trust in each other.

"My" Macbook is out there waiting patiently for me to make the leap of faith I need to change from being a PC girl from way back to being a Macbook carrying type (is there a type?). Will it be my "knight in shining armour"? I have no idea! I do hope though that it will be a faithful workhorse and give me many years of sturdy and reliable service.

A computer is not just a "tool" anymore in my view. A computer - particularly one that has high speed internet access - is perhaps now pretty much an extention of ones own identity. It literally becomes a kind of second "Self", not entirely separate - but sometimes very different - from the Self you believe you are and/or present yourself to be in the Real World. This box of light and wires is an ad hoc addendum of The Mind!

I shall blame Spernau though if it - this new love-affair - all goes pear-shaped! hehehe (I won't really Martin! I promise! :)). He's so Mac now he goes just a weeny bit nuts if he has to work with 'that other brand'! *wink* But he has pretty much convinced me now that its a good plan to switch camps. At the very least - I can always bribe him for tech support! Huh? :)

In truth, my sudden leap to this change of platform is because I am quite frankly "tired" of the hoopla that surrounds a lot of the "new" stuff from the PC camp. The newest operating system now available in PC's and laptops by Microsoft is going to be just as big a learning curve as OS X "Tiger" so its not a stretch really now to make the switch. :)

It's all very exciting though. My dad will laugh his head off - seeing as I will need to eat humble pie and concede defeat when I was so adamant he was "wrong" to get himself an Apple Mac for his very first computer a couple of years ago! *sigh* Live and learn huh?

So anyway. There are some things that need to happen first before "my" Macbook is curled up in my arms. First and foremost is getting a secure WLAN set up here at home.

When one has teenagers in the house... getting uninterrupted time on broadband internet is a scarce thing unless you happen to get up with the birds, like I do for this very reason. But, I DO need to access the net regularly for various work and leisure pursuits and I WOULD like to do that without having "Are you done yet Mum?" in my ears every minute or so!

So yeah! This is a fun new project and I'm looking forward to the possibilities that present. At some point this coming year, this blog just might be written on a MAC! Wow! Who'd have thought that?