Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matt 5:37 NIV
I'm still on about relationships! :) I probably always will be you know! Love and passion fascinate me. So does Romance! I enjoy pulling apart and re-constructing the nuances of how we, as human beings, operate and engage with each other socially.
So okay. A bible verse today huh? Yep! This does have a point - bear with me!
It's about how we communicate with our nearest and dearest; that what we say must match how we do.
We may say emphatically, and believe it to be true to our very core, demand we be given the benefit of the doubt when we say we love someone, that we adore them, that we shall support them in everything from here on in; but if that stuff isn't made clear in our being... then its not the Truth at all!
No one I believe wants an emphatic lie. A lie is an untruth that seeks to protect the egocentric Self from being made less than it wishes to be. A lie covers. It is deceitful and selfish. It is not about love or peace, hope or self-control! Its about manipulation and someone-else-control. A lie dishonours even when its meant to "not hurt anyones feelings".
Truth exposes and makes light fall in dark corners. It can be cruel but it is nonetheless the Truth. Truth is never relative. It just IS the Truth! Nothing can stand in the way of Truth. The truth is honest and it is compelling. The Truth makes things change. It can be uncompromising. Like the glare of the burning midday sun - the Truth makes known every shadow.
When we speak to those we love we need to remember this about Truth. It is obvious when there is Truth - when there isn't - there is fear, confusion, mixed messages, pain, hurt feelings and misunderstandings. There is no clarity or coherence here - just a jumbled mix of selves striving for recognition amidst the noise of empty words.
What we say to our loved ones must be borne out in our bodies - in our shape and persona - the truth of our words.
A lie can slide off the tongue like silk. We can detect lies with machines now because our body never lies. Our muscles, our matter, our being in this corporeal world is solid, immutable, inexorable Truth! We lie and our bodies defy it in tightened muscles, drawn in breaths, beads of sweat, blushes and rapid eye flickers! Our bodies can never lie (unless rigorously trained to be in agreement with the lie!)
What we say to our loved ones needs to match our actions. In order for them to trust us, the words that slip out of our mouths so easily, must bear the fruit of honesty, integrity and the resounding YES of Truth. To move our relationships forward, to progress and grow together in unity and potential harmony, the foundation of trust and love are built on our Yes being made a real Yes in the very fabric of our beings and our No being equally a real No!
It isn't about being positive or namby-pamby sugar and spice, this stuff; it's about having integrity and being consistent - coherent even - that our words have real meaning because they're backed up by our real action!
Be who and what you are by all means...and remember that what you ARE often speaks louder than what you merely say.