Desperate straits call for desperate measures...

or at the very least somewhat clumsy but practical innovation.

I used to use my lovely wee Palm PDA a lot. Then last year, when I was convalescing after major surgery, I didn't have the need to refer to it or use it often for about 4 months so got out of the habit of putting in info and reading it when required. It became an untrustworthy device for recording my never-ending piles of tasks.

I have effectively been list-less for some months now (no pun intended there) and it has been obvious how detrimental its been to my productivity and the smoothness of getting things done in a timely way. If its not written down, in a place with a context, it generally gets missed, forgotten or abandoned due to the former two.

I had some time to myself in between appointments today and went diary shopping for a suitable "old-fashioned" paper based "device" that might fill the giant gap my PDA has left.

I still use the PDA but the on/off button is faulty and hard to turn on so its become a PITA to use effectively. It's still essential for carting around vast numbers of addresses and memo's though. I will probably always use some kind of electronic device for that stuff even if I never use one again for tasks or appointments.

I'm actually sweating on the iPhone coming to Australia but there's no word yet as to which telco here is picking it up for sure. I may yet succumb and go for another brand phone/PDA/mp3/browser device. Don't know yet.

So anyway... I didn't find the diary I wanted. I have already got a wee paper diary with a week to an opening which is fine for ordinary appointments but its just not appropriate for task lists at all. I NEED a discrete task list; one based on contextual concepts such as Home, Work, Calls, Computer and so on.

Instead I switched to looking for a small notebook with a pen holder. I found a good one with a snap-lock cover for under AU$3.00 in Trevs Bargain Emporium *grin* I'm actually tempted to go back and purchase the rest and put them into storage for the day when this current one is just totally unusable. With white-out though it "should" technically last a good while or at least until I replace it with a new electronic do-all device anyway.

I brought the notepad home and made labels with my nifty little Brother P-touch 55 labeller (an absolutely ESSENTIAL household device), and printed out two of each label sticker. These I attached to pages in the notebook back to back. The notebook is roughly divided now, into different contextual sections into which I can record any relevant tasks.

So for instance, in my "Errands/Buy" category - when I'm out and about, I can simply refer to that particular list to see if I need to get meds from the pharmacy, or go look for a new pair of shoes for work etc.

It's about coherent relevance to my day to day activities. Instead of trying to remember what I have to do exactly WHEN I have to do it, this device now allows me to shift and change as required according to any given place/time/person.

It took me about half an hour to set it up and another half hour or so to put everything I can so far think of into it. The real test though is in the following couple of weeks. If by the end of that I have lots and lots of white-out lines in it, it will be a go-er! :)

it's okay...He said as he opened his arms and died.

Questions of Faith crop up every now and again in my mind and heart like fluttering butterflies.

Some of them are labelled "Guilt" and some are labelled "Freedom"

Choosing a butterfly to have land on ones hand is difficult for more often than not, it's the beautiful alluring "Guilt" ones that bring more pleasure than can be merited.

I put him there that day on that stripped tree on golgatha. Me! With my petty lies, white and black, my arrogance, my liberty, my pride and my greed. I put him there with all the force of my being.

And you know what?

He keeps on saying "It's okay! It's okay! I still love you anyway"

Who can fathom a love like that? Can anyone? Not me! Least of all me.

My unbelief lies in shredded piles upon the floor of my soul. I bury myself in it like a rat in its nest. I do not believe that I could be so loved and so I choose to wrestle with the paper shreddings of my Unbelief, chewing on them and mashing tjem between my teeth pretending its good to eat.

If only...if only I could SEE beyong my Unbelief and accept that which I believe 100 percent, unequivocally, unreservedly, wholistically? If only I could BE like Him and not need this shredded paper on the floor of my soul?

Why is it..

that one can make plans and plans and plans but they rarely eventuate.

I had quite a list of things to do today. I barely scratched the surface! *sigh*

I did get that email written to the old g/f's although some of the email addy's bounced! I so hate that. I started my german homework but have yet to complete it - there seems to be PILES of it at the moment too.

As for this "feral loungeroom"? Well! That's least of all my obligations right now. Tomorrow is Ironing Day so it will get sorted then and only then.

And if you're wondering about the strange juxtaposition of terms there - aka "feral" + "loungeroom", then don't fret, it's just one of my idiosyncracies of language use. I don't know HOW I do that or why - I just do. Maybe it's an Aussie thing perhaps. Some Aussies do say silly things like "Dead Horse" in lieu of simple tomato sauce and such. We are a wierd mob as the saying goes.

Still I guess I'd better explain what I mean anyway. My "feral loungeroom" is cluttered with clothes that I cannot wear, things to pick up that do not belong to me but to other people who say they live here, chocolate bar wrappers that I've not eaten myself, empty glasses parked beside armchairs that I did not drink from, disarranged cusions on the couch that I did not rest upon, school bags that don't belong to me and guitar picks that I do not use to play the guitar with.

Do you kind of get the picture? Yeah! The "feral" part of the loungeroom isn't so much the loungeroom itself - its the young urchins who LIVE here and think they can just trash the joint and "Ping" it will all be nice and restful again in the morning for them to trash yet again!

*sigh* It's a mum's world!

So okay....

I have been missing from Blogsville afterall. :

Bloggers Syndrome is catching up with me I'm afraid. There just doesn't seem to be anything really INTERESTING to write about in the moment.

I could waffle on for hours about Secondlife.com where I currently spend most of my free hours *blush* However, that is likely to bore you to tears really unless you're into the whole concept of strangely attired (let alone strangely behaved) avatars running about in a jerky, staccato fashion in virtual shopping malls where the walls are a pixel wide and both solid and penetrable all at the same time.

Still, the subjects that could be worthy to muse upon fade quickly from my mind almost as soon as I decide that they'd be good to blog about.

So anyway, perhaps its time to change blogging focus. Maybe I need to just TALK about any old stuff instead of trying too hard to come up with something that I, so arrogantly, deem as Intelligent Blogging Material (no IBM jokes please *snort*). There's only so much one can say about soulmates and Pah!

My mate (for my non-aussie readers, that's an Aussie colloquial term for friend/buddy/pal), Martin celebrated his 37th birthday this past week. Happy Birthday Martin :) I've yet to try Martini but I reckon I might this weekend just to see what its like. I'll make a belated birthday toast to you if I do :)

And I have been feeling decidedly GUILTY this past week too. I have all these lovely online girlfriends from years and years ago from a Aussie mum's forum I used to frequent. I loved those girls to bits!

Still do really. Thing is we've all gotten terribly busy with older kids now and we hardly ever get in touch anymore. Despite that wonderful thing called email... do I ever really use it to just WRITE to people I love/have loved? Not that much actually. So I have decided that I'll write the girls an email this weekend to just let them know I've been thinking of them and send them my love and good wishes their way.

I have lots of friendships with women that are like this when I think about it. Deep and lasting friendships but sporadic and intermissive (is there such a word?). I mean I can catch up with these women and pick up conversations where they left off last time rarely being stuck for words or wondering what to say because of the distance thus far. There are however, sometimes significant gaps of time in between those conversations where I think about them often but rarely make the effort to maintain the energetic to-and-fro of the original consistent friendship.

Maybe I'm just too selfish of my time. I do love my freedom but my friends are also vitally important to me too and I hold each and everyone of them dear to my heart; even if we don't get to spend hours deep in conversation like we used to.

So yeah. I don't have much other than the mundane to write about at the moment. The intention is now to make blogging less focussed on the heavy material and just let it flow as it so chooses. It seems that the Bloggers Syndrome symptom of TRYING TO BE RELEVANT has caught up with me too. Not that I think I ever really was relevant in here though.

Okay... enough now! :) and yeah I know I talk too much... Martin tells me that often so I know :)

I have a second life...

Things are getting hectic.

I haven't actually abandoned my old loves such as this blog. :)

But it seems that writing is taking a back seat somewhat to a new craze I have discovered. That of the Virtual World.

It's entertaining, somewhat addictive for the moment and really, really relaxing after a very busy day with work and family duties. Beats the TV hands down really for entertainment in the evenings :)

Thanks to the indomitable Vlad Spears for pointing this whole new world out. :)

I guess I'll see you when I'm over having fun flying over the terrain and finding places to explore. I'll be back writing soon enough but I shall have to chalk this next period of time up to Experiential Learning ;) Always handy for a writer that stuff! Haha!

(ps ... I might be back writing sooner than you think actually. This whole RL/SL dichotomy is oozing with blog fodder on which to muse. Stay tuned)