This is post number 111.
My "eleventy-first" :) (thanks Bilbo Baggins)
... no big celebrations. Nor am I about to disappear into the night.
This is just a simple muse on the question, "How far have I come since naming my Genius?" Its pretty introspective this blog today so I'm not really going to be surprised if people roll their eyes and click over to the next blog at about ...here! *grin*
Am I really Constructing Coherence like I thought?
Yes! I still believe that that name is the "right" one for me. It just makes so much sense really (to me) that this is what I DO.
I stick to things and people. I try to make sense of the world, to find meaning and order along with Story and magic too. I gather like things together and try to make them fit into a logical whole. My "coherence" is not really so much about "solving puzzles" although I am inclined to want to do that - particularly "solving" puzzling people! ;) It's more about building up trust and friendships and creating that entente I love so much.
The really big thing I've noticed is that I AM about team-work. I like working on my own but I tend to live inside my own head too much. My Genius gets underfed when it lives inside my own head for too long... it needs people around to help it grow and do its thing! I think perhaps this is why I have stuck around the Genius Workshop for so long...it "feels" like there's a team in there! Thanks Dick, Martin, and to all the members who quietly sit in the background taking notes *grin* (yes... I know! I need to shut up more and let others have a say in the GW too! huh? I hear you! *blush*)
I've also noticed a huge jump in my story-writing since naming my Genius. Writing is a long time love of mine that has never really found full expression. This year is the first year in probably 7 or 8 years that I have been engaged in the process of writing a lot more. I have discovered that I "am" text. I feel more "me" when I write in words and sentences than when I speak or move in my bubble of space. My physical self is a klutzy, ditzy, rather strange mixture of self-conscious exuberance. My writing self is quieter, more intimate and detailed: my writing self is better able to make sense.
The writing this year has been intense. I've loved every minute of it. This blog has opened new opportunities for me to explore some really deep thinking that I just cannot find expression for elsewhere. :) It's been quite exhilarating and cathartic. I've had more joy this year than I can remember in a long, long time.
I've had periods of writing before such as (bad?) poetry in my late teens and young adult hood etc. I also wrote a lot of church drama's a few years ago which totally enthralled me but I burnt out from that process because it wasn't "just" writing it was directing, producing, acting in and rehearsing them as well etc! A tough gig every two weeks with a wee family and a business! Phew! I have no idea how I did that now! :) (You can find some of my drama's here under Michelle Pitman. They are available free for use in any setting :)).
But Story! Story thrills me! It moves me and engages me like no other writing. I love the way a Story can just come together out of nothing but an idea and maybe a few scraps of un-related words. This is, I think the biggest change to come from the naming of my Genius, the discovery of Stories that live inside me. I love that. :) I do owe some thanks to Martin Spernau in this discovery for his encouragement and many of those un-related words! :) Thanks mate :)
The other changes? New found friendships, a new found zest for life and living, a new hope for the future and a surprising amount of confidence I didn't know I had! :)
Naming ones Genius (or Gift you prefer) may sound like an exercise in self-indulgence and arrogant pride but it's not! It's a journey of humble self-discovery. It is also a process that continues throughout life in the company of strangers and friends. We all have something to bring to the table and we all have something to take as well. Life like this is meant to be savoured, both bitter and sweet. When you find - and name - that gem of uniqueness and amazing wonder inside you... you can't help but feel astonished that you ever had so much power!