too far away

I was asked to write when things were 'good' and not always write when things are 'bad'.

I'm not yet in that zone.

Things are not very good and nor are they desperately bad.

Right now is not a good moment and in my perverse, narcissistic way I need to channel the force of that 'badness' into these words; as if to extinguish them through the light of awareness.

I am sobbing and God is far away.

The depths of my loneliness seem unfathomable. For all the care, love and concern of my dear friends and family...I still feel hollow and empty of the love I want.

I don't want this! it is too much. Take it away.