Thursday, December 13, 2007

Learning to accept the offers of assistance

There is this interesting thing we do here in Australia. When one finds that a friend or associate has fallen on hard times, out of courtesy and concern we offer our assistance but in a very specific sort of way.

We say stuff like "If there's anything I can do to help just ask".

Often, and even I am guilty of this on occasion, we tend to assume that our offer is merely a polite way of saying "I'm here for you and am thinking of you but I don't expect or want you to call me even so".

The one suffering though has a different take on it. "It's nice of you to offer but I will have to do this myself because I can tell you aren't really able to assist me right now".

And so we have this dichotomy of a person being under great duress and being a martyr to everything life has thrown at them and friends and acquaintances stepping back and just "waiting" to be asked for their help if and when it might be required.

I refuse to buy into this social currency.

If someone offers to help me I WILL consider their support as necessary. Right now I have friends who have offered their support in getting our new shop functional. I have accepted their support and assistance, it's one less thing I need to handle.

I have told the Bank Manager to talk directly with our Accountant to get the financial wheels turning on our future. One less thing I have to handle

A friend offered to bring around some supper tonight. I can't be stuffed cooking right absolutely please!

I'm no wuss but at the same time I am not a saint either! I am barely able to withstand the current demands of my To Do list! I do need help to cope with the onslaught of stuff coming at me. I will take whatever help comes my way.

In time...I will pay that help forward to someone else in need.

Right now though, it's time I learn the lessons of humility and gratitude and simple acceptance of what is.

It can however be the toughest life lesson of them all when ones pride and sense of personal power is being wounded and bruised.

I'm not sad about this. There is a level of strange joy in acknowledging when one is powerless to do it all. Humility brings not just grace but also release from too much pride. Pride is a hard task master and a shocking Judge. Times like these when the world seems to fall apart around you just gives Pride the opportunity to take a holiday and get a grip and you are reminded that you are loved for you ARE ...not for what you can do.

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