The vicissitudes of life have caught up with me this past couple of months. Since starting in my job full time a few weeks ago, I seem to have relegated a few of my favourite things to the backburner.
1) Being organised at home: This is a nightmare really. I love having a tidy home and things in their proper places but currently, my in-tray is overflowing and the kitchen floor looks like it needs scrubbing with a diamond cutting device! The bathroom is in dire need of sterilisation and the second lounge room - where son and band regularly congregate for jam sessions - looks like the remains of a hobo's abandoned campsite. You'd THINK I could manage all this and I always have in the past, but for some unknown reason (other than sheer "don't want to know" on my part after work each day), it's all falling apart at the seams.
2) Going for regular walks: Well... there is really no actual excuses for this one because I've rather been too fond of chatting to friends online after work than going for a long walk in the dark and the freezing cold! Enough said! I'm hiring a treadmill (as soon as I can dig my way into the second lounge room to find floor space for it).
3) Writing in my blog and continuing to write my story about "The Girl who couldn't cry". I write tonnes nearly every day now. It's a bit like glutting oneself on too many chocolates; after awhile, you become a bit "meh" about the idea as a fun thing to do after work. I promise I'll get motivated very soon and write like Dickins to get that wee story rounded up! (I hope ;)).
So! there you go. Whinge complete for today. At the very least I have written "something" here in my little blog I love so much. That's a good start yeah?
I haven't mentioned that a part of the "problem" is my own propensity to want to shut the world off and enter into Second Life as a way of chilling out. I admit it now. I have been using sl as my device to turn off from reality and it's showing. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to make definitive promises to "better" this arrangement for now. I work... I come home...and I have every intention of playing as well. Sl is my play ground - my sandpit - my "pub" where I go have a yarn with me mates after work. That work above will get done in its own good time - when soul, body, mind and emotion are ready and willing.
You know though... I've been thinking! It occurs to me that in regards to this blog writing I do have one interesting conundrum. My muse is currently, wandering the cyberworlds on new missions and due to time zones and other constraints the stuff that normally gets generated in my mind from the hubhub of our conversations, has been missing of late. He's presently a bit more low key than usual and not as available for sounding off about stuff with.
I started this blog before I really knew him but I do admit that his input into my process of blogging has been pretty high over this past three years. How interesting!
Could it be that I write only when inspired by external creative inputs from others? I hope not! I had thought this was all "my own work" - but maybe I have relied on my muse - and others - to fill in the thought bubbles a bit, imbibing the essences of their unique character recipies and added spices.
I wonder if other writers also absorb their writing from the external experience of relationships to things and people more than creating the experiences from pure ideas alone?
Honestly... I'm really too tired to philosophish about this one in too much of my usual wordy detail today... have to go make something for my family to eat.
I'll be back.