Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Within 24 hours, calm claimed my anxiety and beat it to a pulp

yesterday she didn't have a job. Yesterday she was suffering mild anxiety and was desperately trying to be philosophical and resigned to her current situation.

Today she has a job! A good job from all accounts. One practically designed for her (well...that is when she figures out exactly what it is and how its done of course).


I have work.

I've been under more physical stress than I realised. Today my body feels like its just had a big weight lifted off it. It doesn't feel light and energised as such though. In fact, I am stiff, tired, sore as if I've run more miles than the average road-runner.

Of course, I haven't been, I've been pretty "slack" actually, doing "nothing much" and instead feeling oppressed and down-hearted about the search for work. Emotionally, it's the direct equivalent of running a marathon.

Today, it's like I've been granted Holidays after doing a really tough gig. Ironically, I've done very little this past few months other than "look for work" and write a lot. Still, underneath where no one see's - least of all myself - I was working harder than most to keep getting out of bed each day, deal with home, children, job applications, welfare angst, financial stress, career focus, passion, direction, loss, the list goes on.

Today, I can breathe and let the past finally go for good. I've been given a new shot at finding what it is I'm "meant" to do. That's a blessing and a massive Christmas Present.

I'm on holidays now...until the second week of January. Then I start my new life as a Volunteer Management Program Project Worker :) Go figure!

Of course this all depends on if I pass the Criminal History Check..... hahahhaha *smirk*

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