I seem to be on some kind of roller coaster...

and I'd dearly like to get off now please!

My job is on the line I think. I have to consider if I want to continue it this weekend which really puts the pressure on, given I have a uni assignment to complete before Monday and a bunch of Centrelink forms to complete as well this weekend.

You'd think that working in a cafe would be a snap yeah? Easy peasy right? ANYone could do that sort of "menial" work! etc etc etc

Apparently not me!

I've worked in the food industry a long time, but mostly in one particular style of food industry, basic take-away. Having been self-employed in partnership with my once-husband for 18 years, you would think I'd have some skills yeah?

I feel about as bright as a waning moon though.

I am DUMB when it comes to working in a cafe! I freak out under the pressure of having people to serve like NOW...I hate having people wait in the queue banked up six deep at the counter all wanting to be served. I get my timings on heating their food all wrong and the chips are cold and the coffee is shite! I get the money wrong; I make stupid mistakes constantly because I simply cannot retain what happened five minutes ago in my brain!

Oh...Ask me some trivial thing like who starred in the movie "Some Like it Hot" and I'll tell you that...but to tell you if a customer wanted a cafe latte or a muggaccino ordered five minutes ago and I have consult my notebook!

Dumb as dog shit I tell you *sigh*

The cafe isn't really "that" busy right now either. I've been warned that it will be freakingly busy by Christmas. I'm supposed to be going through training for a Hospitality Certificate III where some clever person "observes" me working and takes notes etc periodically. I got to pieces if someone is looking over my shoulder. The dumber I feel, the dumber I behave.

It's possibly one of the more stupid things I've said in this blog - and there'd be plenty of those - but right now? I feel as if I am being "punished". But, then, I've always felt guilty for everything that happens anyway, even if it wasn't my fault!

Still... to "fail" at being a coffee waitress seems just so.... I don't know? It just sucks and I don't know what I'm good for other than washing clothes and driving my kids to their social lives!

*sniff*

Sorry for the rant... I just feel like an utter failure tonight. I guess I'll feel better in the morning.