I went for a big long walk today to re-centre the soul.
In the past few weeks, I've tended to just take my body and the ever present voice in my head on these walks, processing lots of thoughts in the "quiet" of nature.
I realised not long ago that this process, whilst important for me initially, was beginning to literally do my head in.
My thinking ranges over the world of idea and impression, presumption, assumption, possibility and consequence and of course is tainted by large doses of emotion. I see things from every possible angle from superlative fantasies (both romantic and despairing) to down right, roll the eyes WTF! I feel things and think about feeling them and feel again as a result of the thoughts. My head is a very full place :)
I am very much inclined to waaaaay over think stuff! (or as my friend D. says...that I tend to "over smart" stuff).
I have taken to listening to music on my walks again as a result. For one...music seems to leach my soul of its basest fears and releases them into the sound. It soothes me in ways I can barely describe in words. Within microseconds, that black ooze in the soul which can corrupt the merest hint of joy into a pile of decay, is gone. With music to act as the surgeons scalpel, the black ooze is released and joy is free to explode - with relief - into the expansive space left clear by sounds pull.
It takes a specific kind of music to do this I think. It depends on the nature of those needs deep in the soul as to which kind of sound can do that leaching therein. However, that bass and that hard drive of the drums, the harmonic vibe of music that has a deep, grungy, power seems to exorcise deep fear from inside of me and thus lift me out of the blackest of moods. It is the music that speaks deepest to my souls need for joy.
Today Porcupine Tree took the dark inside of me and blew it to smithereens in under 8kms! *grin*
I listened to In Absentia on the ipod and had it up LOUD enough to fill my head with the soothing bass and beats of this awesomely versatile band.
Oh man! It was sooo bloody cool! Every track, as different as could be from any other, totally rocked me to the core! I was in walk heaven today. (You really HAVE to admire that bass line though...every track has the most awesomely tight bass/drum thing going on).
On first listen, some might think that PT is a bit depressing and slightly to the left of "really weird". It does have a certain amount of goth/geek factor to it. But, I LIKE that stuff! I like my music to be deep, powerful, heavy, grungy, experimental, metallic, bassy, with a rhythmically infused drive to it! *grin*
Music that is created and played for itself and not necessarily for the pop mainstream that EVERYONE listens to without thinking about, is music that appeals to me, simply because it is created for the sheer joy of the sound and not for any marketing hyped business propaganda.
Oh but I thank you Porcupine Tree for this amazing sound today! What a fabulous walk I have had and I owe it to the spirit of the music in my head that I felt so happy and JOYFUL as I listened to it.
Music speaks a language of the spirit. We've packaged it, into the pop mainstream much like we've packaged sex as a false promise for potential fulfillment in the commodities of our age. But music is a spiritual thing and as such, deserves to be treated with respect and honour just because it is what it is.
Just like Faith in God is just what it is ... even without having to be branded or packaged by a church's desire get kick backs from it... music is just what it is, the highest creative expression of the human soul! Some bands do music because they believe in it and for no other reason than its beautiful and good to believe in it.
Porcupine Tree imprint their music with their sheer love of it - and it shows. Today, their gift to the world lifted me, inspired me and refreshed my very soul.
Thanks boys (and thanks to your women, behind you, who inspire you to create this stuff in the first place! :) )