Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Life is a conundrum to be solved.

Having realised, recently, that this meme is a strong value within me, I am noticing how it affects my behaviours and thinking toward my Life Path.

We all of us want Perfection.

We seek it, claim it, harbour and hoard it, want it, desire it, are passionate and persistent in its pursuit.

We KNOW that nothing in this earth IS actually Perfect. Yet, we also instinctively know that there lies a realm of perfection in spite of this fact.

What defines perfect is anyones guess really. Perfect for one is not perfect for another. There is no global definition for defining perfect precisely such that others know it at the same time as everyone else.

What we generally get in lieu of perfection is an approximation of it. A sort of coherent blob of defining essences that sort of collude and seem close to the ideal of what should and could be Perfect.

I try to solve Life in pursuit of this perfection.

I get myself into all sorts of emotional and intellectual bother as a result. I prefer a bit of distance between my thinking and my emotional state. When I can observe and anaylyse my emotional state from a distance, it doesn't hurt so much and nor am I reduced to actually having to walk through those messy and terribly irrational emotions either!

I AM very very emotional. It disgusts and annoys me. If I can detach and remain cool in spite of feeling deeply, I am fine. Then I can proceed to analytically and strategically think my way through the conundrum that has triggered the emotions in the first place. My goal is to solve them and remove them from the equation and find peaceful perfect balance again.

Thing is; emotions just ARE. I can no more stop them than I could a freight train on an downward incline!

My thinking ends up feeding my emotional state and sending it into such spasms of confusion and disarray that I am left reeling, bewildered, stunned and totally incapable of making a rational and necessary decision.

I require coherent logic. I am mostly emo idiocy!

Life is a conundrum of imperfect thoughts and feelings, places, things, people and energy. Fitting all the pieces together is a persistent pursuit in the hope that an approximation of perfection can be attained.

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