Monday, December 10, 2007

first tiny steps to wellness

Hubby is on the slow road to recovery now.

he's phoned me a couple of times already from his hospital bed. He's lucid, much calmer than he has been but there is still a long way to go.

I can hear the slurring of his words and he is still flighty and jumpy about things. He demonstrates his anxiety in the details. Today he was anxious about some taxation stuff from 2004! :) It's sort of cute at the moment because he's not here pestering me about it but still, these little concerns that loom so large in his mind will perhaps wear me down over time. Learning what to take on board and what to let go will be my biggest challenge in his recovery.

I'm exhausted! And it's only the beginning of the week.

Today I had more phone-calls, visitors, and appointments than I think I've had all year combined! feels like it.

I'm sitting here right now "avoiding" some basic housework tasks I would like done before I crash into bed for the night. It's only 8pm'ish here and already I could easily just fall into my bed and stay there until morning!

My main objective in the immediate time I have is to organise some income support for my family while we are closed at the shop. God willing and where possible I will make every effort to access the government resources available for situations like ours. I have about 14 days to get this done.

I also need a good full day of going through all our accounts and getting them paid and squared off for the year. Cash flow will be an "issue" what with our holiday in Darwin over the christmas/new year period. Hubby has been looking forward to that holiday so much and so has my sister who lives up there. I intend to get us all there and just BE a family for 10 days without all these responsibilities and expectations looming over our heads.

The art of being in constant readiness for anything right now is highly stressful. I'm usually a very organised person but this past two weeks of massive shift and change has thrown lots of spanners into my usually organised plans. I need TIME and energy without interruption to get a lot of detail stuff sorted out here. I think I will have to literally turn the phones off and put a Do Not Disturb sign on the door sometime Wednesday to deal with the paperwork.

Friends are rallying around us. Family are supporting us where and when they can. Professionals in all varieties are offering their assistance in legal and financial, health and welfare. We are being held up by the Everlasting Arms!

I am a bit worried about my own self "crashing". My diet has hit a bit of a nosedive of late and I will need to be conscientious of that if I want to maintain my vitality and energy. No more chocolate! Not right now! The unbelievable fatigue today when I got back from buzzing around various appointments totally hit me as I came home to find some lunch. I would have laid down for a nap except the phone wouldn't stop ringing and the knocks at the door wouldn't stop as well.

Friends have dropped in to visit my husband in hospital and have phoned in progress reports. Some have been astounded to hear he's actually "much better" than he was this past couple of weeks! To them he is CRAZY happy!

And now my son is sick too. I'm suspecting it is the Glandular Fever the doctor warned us was possible when JD was sick a few weeks back. Oh dear!

Life is moving at an impossible pace. I need to breathe, to centre, slow down, re-orientate and find whats important and what's not in amongst all these demands.

So okay. I'm whinging now. Time to refocus and just "be". One cannot waste time moaning when there's dishes to wash instead. :)

Tomorrow is another day.

No comments: