Monday, November 26, 2007

Questions about Genius and Life Purpose.

Those of us who have gone through the process of finding the name of our "Genius" as described by Dick Richards, will testify to the agonizing and confusing, often protracted, job it is.

Finding ones Genius is like panning for gold. It's a long and drawn out process of sifting through a multiplicity of stuff within us.

When we do find a name that perfectly describes the natural and innate gift we bring to the world, we then find ourselves compelled to channel that new found discovery and insight into the search for our personal true purpose and reason for being here.

Genius and Life Purpose are linked for sure.

There is a possibility here though that I want to explore.

What if our Life Purpose isn't so much an extension of our Genius, but is in fact, something very uncomfortable for which we must take a leap of faith in order to grasp?

For instance, I know my genius is Constructing Coherence. I am all about logically and systematically making things make sense, establishing order and making connections between words, patterns, ideas and people. I do this instinctively without really having to "think" too hard about them.

But now I wonder if my Life Purpose is something that perhaps stretches me beyond this instinctive pattern of being.

Maybe my purpose here is to be engaged in something that takes me outside of having to use the same old, same old, devices I've always used? A Leap of Faith into uncharted territory that engages me and enthralls me and fulfills me like no other thing? Something that would normally terrify me! Something that doesn't make a lot of sense at all...not logically anyway.

What if...instead of my Genius, my modus operandi, creating the impetus for me to fulfill my Life Purpose, I instead have to use other emotional and intellectual tools that feel alien to me, that challenge me, but by the same token, fulfill me enormously and thereby create something wonderful for the Greater Good?

What if... my Life Purpose isn't achieved via the business of Constructing Coherence, which I do every day as a matter of course, but is something illogical, challenging, strange, uncommon and decidedly "Huh?".

Perhaps its in the opposite of my usual daily self where I might find the direction for my soul to travel.

The opposite of Constructing Coherence for me would be to rely not on logic but on intuition. I would need to do things according to what brings joy and fun for ME without always carefully thinking through the future consequences of my actions for everyone else. The opposite of my Genius would be for me to find strength within myself and not rely on finding it within the collective. The opposite for me would be to accept my own uniqueness and embrace my differences and not try to blend in with the crowd so much. I would have to accept being in the moment more, not plan so much and just be playful and joyful in the expression of my dreams. I would have to step onto the stage of Life and engage fully in it as a lead player, not as mere spectator or support crew.

That is scary stuff for me.

I am not very courageous and nor do I feel comfortable being in the spotlight. I love the stage but I have always stayed in the background or behind the scenes, preferring to work hard for the team doing my "bit".

It sounds so arrogant. I feel very small when faced with the enormous potential present in this. I have always WANTED the spotlight, craved it, yearned for it. I love being the centre of attention! I learned though, to sublimate this inside of me as a child. Being the "Lead" was only ever given to those who were more beautiful, more clever, more talented, more creative than me. Or so I believed. Then there was the notion of being "Humble", a big thing in my family background. Humility meant never trying to be "better" than anyone else so I did most of my "performing" in private on my own private stage inside my very private thoughts.

Thus, I learned to blend in with the group, to construct coherence as a support act. I became "invisible" and just cruised on the side-lines. My Genius didn't wither doing this, it became powerful. I am a team player! I am consistently and thoroughly engaged in the collective focus of the group mind. I can support others easily! It's just what I "do"!

But taking the Lead is not something I do comfortably. I like the sense of power and the accolades it brings, but it worries me because I fear being "by myself" out there under the spotlight. The responsibilities inherent in being the Lead seem challenging even if inspiring. I worry about becoming too "full of myself" receiving the applause and am ├╝ber careful to ensure that its never me who gets the praise but the group or those behind the scenes. Being in the lead is fraught with so much conflicting energy for me; on the one hand I adore being at the centre and in control, but on the other hand I fret about taking the accolades too seriously. I might need to TRUST that I am worthy of the applause sometimes! eek!

But what IF this is my Life Purpose? To be channeled toward the thing I have always craved but never felt entirely comfortable in grasping? What if I am being asked to fulfill my Life's Purpose by being very much what I am not every day of my life?

What if all of us who have found their Genius are in fact being asked not to seek their purpose from the starting point of their Genius, but beyond it where their Genius rarely dares to venture? What if we are in fact to reach beyond that which we do so naturally? What if we are being asked to engage in that which stretches us outside of our comfort zone?

This confounds and inspires me, this idea. I wonder what Dick would say? :)

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