Monday, November 20, 2006

time to be me

I'm getting used to the working full-time thing...slowly :)

My masseur last week made an interesting observation about MY life that took me rather by surprise actually.

She was noting that I was a "classic example" of the post-modern woman with my peculiar lifestyle.

I'm not alone of course - hundreds of thousands of women around the world do what I do and often MORE each day than they have a right to - AND we seem to be expected to pack ever more into our busy days! But I suspect those expectations are just stupid marketing messages from our screwed-up results-based society really!

I'm a woman who is...

a) a wife of a shift-working man :)
b) a mother of two kids in their early teens with all the associated angst that that role seems to produce in a day *sigh*
c) a business partner with my husband. We are self-employed in the food industry.
d) a daughter, sister, aunty, cousin etc - [women seem to MAKE families happen really].
e) a friend (my most favourite role of all actually and probably the one after husband and kids I tend to invest the most of my precious time into)
f) a church goer
g) I'm also a housekeeper, business bookkeeper, cleaner and shopping expert and DVD-R expert (I record stuff for my husband to watch on the tv nearly every day - I know my way around a DVD Recorder better than most ;))
h) I also go to the gym, read books, watch tv shows, write cards, blog, write short stories, listen to music, use cosmetics and other such "potions".
i) And after all this, I work in our take away food shop around 42 hours per week.

I get up at about 5am most mornings to talk to my best friend, do laundry, clean stuff, make the bed, sort stuff, write and give the cat his medicine!

I crash on the couch around 9pm until my husband gets out of our bed to go to work at around 11pm (sometimes I don't even hear him leave and will wake up still on the couch in the early morning hours :))

So yeah! It's a busy life! The kids help a little bit here and there with a LOT of rather noisy "encouragement" from me of course ;) They'll get there I guess.

One thing I do believe though is that we girls need to not place such high standards on ourselves. We can't do everything, all the time, every time, perfectly! Some things have to give and they do. Thing is, it's where you place the value that will determine what gives. For me, what gives is the vacuuming! If I can let that go for as long as humanly possible I will and not give a fig! I make the kids do it now when it's necessary anyway. It's not like I enjoy living in a tip, but I just don't NEED to vacuum this crappy carpet like some demented Sadie! If I had new carpet - this value judgement might significantly change but until then - it's a no mitch-go zone! hahaha

Love thy neighbour as thyself!

And I look after myself first!

That sounds absolutely heretical but it's an important thing really to note. When I take care of myself first [within reason of course], I have enough in my emotional and physical tank for everyone else.

My God, my husband, my kids and my beloved family and friends are the most important priorities I have and if I don't take care of ME - then I miss out on them and I do not want that to happen at all.

So to hell with being the "perfect little housewife" - I am a modern woman with my eye on MY goals and nobody else's. If that makes you grimace then you just ain't busy enough to understand.


Sarah said...

I so agree Mitch that we expect too much of ourselves. Take my day yesterday for example. I was up at 5:30am for my morning walk, made Dante's lunch for school (can you believe he is at school now?!), cleaned up the kitchen, put a load of washing on, took Tessa to her swimming lesson, went to the shops for some food, bumped into a friend, came home, cleaned more, picked Dante up from school, made dinner, cleaned up after dinner, went to a meeting, came home and ate my own dinner after 8pm, then went to bed to read, and fell asleep after a page.
So today, I bitched about the state of the house, because my floors of all things aren't as clean as they should be, felt annoyed at myself for not finishing the folding yesterday, felt annoyed with myself that I don't read as much as I think I should with an English degree, and volunteered for canteen duty on Friday.
Of course, the volunteering is because I finshed the year at uni on Friday, so now I have managed to convince myself I have "free time".
We women are insane!! But thankyou for reminding me.

Michelle said...

SQUARE!!! Oh Wow! It's so good to "see" you! :) HUGS

hehehe! Oh dear girl! You were always the type to clean the extra mile! :)

You sound totally busy too and no.. I cannot believe that Dante is in SCHOOL already! wow! Where have those years gone?

Look after yourself my dear and say "no!" occasionally huh? :)