Saturday, August 26, 2006


Why is it so hard to be in love do you think?

That soft tender ache of longing in the heart. The hard flutter of rushing nervous energy coursing through ones torso whenever one sees their beloved. The skittish and flighty body language that comes over one when within range of the beloved in question.

I remember these feelings from the first time I fell in love. I see them in my daughter as she grows older and experiences boys for the first time in her life.

But it is hard to be in love. It's the ache I think that kills. The incredibly sweet longing deep within to be connected to that desirable other.

Its hard but its incredible and wonderful too. The difficulties in feeling such intense emotion for another person can both wound and enliven all at the same time. Like bitter-sweet chocolate, both give a pleasure to the senses, physically and emotionally.

In a way its sad that so many couples lose these intense sensations after being together for a long time. To see so many couples who love each other but are not "in love" with each other anymore. The love they share becomes a kind of unmentionable accessory to their partnership. There is no real magic or fire in their relationship and it appears their union is more like a business transaction between entities rather than a communion of one soul in two bodies.

Ah but that early "being in love" stage is so palpably real to the senses. It enlivens and quickens the soul. And it is all about the senses - physical senses of touch, sight, sound, experience, and taste, and the metaphysical senses of wonder, joy, and possiblity. The senses are magnified by being in touch with feelings so visible they almost hurt when observed.

We like to feel love. When love isn't felt anymore and is just known about logically and intellectually it loses something in translation. It loses its capacity to quicken our pulse, flumox us and excite us deep inside. Being "in love" is a gentle drug of wonder, surprise, joy and anticipation along with an aching need to bring it into fruition and into that knowledge phase.

You see! We need to know Love too. We need to understand Love in a way that isn't swayed by emotion or desire but just is as it is - a deep but intellectual proof of connection. Its just that we too often forget to make our senses feel that " being in love" feeling again so as to enjoy the sensation of it coursing through our veins, quickening the pulse and sending desire through the roof again for our beloved.

When we experience one of these two without the other - "being in love" or Love - for too long, they each shrivel and die. "Being in love" does not last without becoming Love - deep and steadfast. Love without the ecstacy of that " being in love" feeling and that tiny wince of an aching heart that so desires to belong to the other person, becomes a mere partnership of bodies, lacking both sparkle and magic.

The feeling of being in love is intoxicating. Knowing that one is Loved is reassuring. Combining both brings both incredible union and one-ness to a relationship.

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