Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Giving up.

It sounds defeatist and it can be that - but it can also be the most positive thing you can do to bring hope and joy into your life.

Quitting when the going gets tough is often viewed by our western society as being a bad thing. When we quit, we are seen to be lacking determination, or having a weak character, or are avoiding our responsibilities and duty, etc. etc. etc.

Quitting difficult things out of fear of failure or of success is fraught with strange emotional turmoil. On the one hand we are afraid of continuing in the difficult situation, but on the other hand we're afraid of losing our reputation - or even the status quo - if we don't continue to "tough it out".

Being a trooper and slogging uphill through the mud and slime of a no-win situation is apparently supposed to be a fine expression of character.

It's not.

No! That's just being an emotional martyr.

It's one thing to tough out a tough situation which is not of your own making but it's an entirely different thing to tough out a tough situation just because you think it makes you look good for being so "brave"! You have to tough out things like cancer because you refuse to let the demon beat you. You can give up being defeatist about it and fight to keep hope alive because in the end you know that it's got to be worth fighting for.

But...you don't need to tough out a simply bad situation in life if you have a way of escaping it. A horrid job, a failing relationship, a skun knee, a broken heart...

There are choices. There are always choices.

One of these choices may include giving up the difficult thing and changing direction completely.

Steve Pavlina has a fine article today about the "Power of Now". It is about believing in the certainty of THIS moment and not letting fear of the past or of the future keep you in it's grip.

The future is now and failure is not necessarily a dirty word! The two don't have to go together.

So... giving up can actually be a positive decision for a positive change; a choice for making a better life. Giving up that which causes you pain and angst, and embracing a new "now" that brings hope and joy, can be a powerful thing.

It's not the giving up that is the issue here anyway - it's what you do once you've decided to give up that will make the difference.

The following famous lines say it all.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Live your moments in joy. :)

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