Sunday, March 19, 2006

filtering the past

Much of this trying to find out ones "words" from the archeological dig of the soul is to revisit the things in your past and see if there is any connections and similarities that you caused across events.

I've been trying to find those things in my life that have a common theme and so far I have noticed one or two things that I do/have done that may be a further piece of evidence in my search.

When I was little, I wasn't necessarily the tidiest kid on the farm but I did have this cycle of establishing order.

When my side of the bedroom got just too cluttered, I sorted! I didn't need to be told by my parents to sort, I just did it. I would spend hours determining the BEST place to keep my array of soft toys - who were all real people by the way to me - situating them so they could all have easy access to their nocturnal pursuits whilst I slept. I literally believed that soft toys came alive when no one was looking - still do actually!

When I received a new note book in which to write I would promise myself that this book would be the neatest and tidiest book I'd ever recorded my thoughts in. By the time I got to page three though, it would be a right mess! In my late teens I abandoned all hope of having tidy notebooks and just relished getting the thoughts down as innovatively as possible.

As an avid lover of books as a kid, I remember a time when I absolutely NEEDED to categorise them into some sort of order. I constructed this rather complicated and very tedious numbered coding system to classify my books. I had no idea about the Dewey Decimal System but I somehow KNEW that was how libraries were constructed and ordered. I desperately wanted to be a librarian at one stage in my life but didn't because librarian jobs are so hard to get!

When in group discussion, I get endlessly frustrated if all the talk goes nowhere constructive. It HAS to be constructive. I love poetic ideas, I love idealistic theories and potentialities but it all has to be constructive - it has to have a means to an end. There must be newfound knowledge, action, insights and meaning from the talk. There must above all be entente! If it all goes bust, I get hurt and subsequently dissinterested.

Constructing Entente

Last night I thought perhaps that my words might be Hooking Up I've yet to say them aloud. I thought of this because I'm into hooking things and people up. Hey! I'm the only one in the family that can hook up the VCR and then program it!

I am rather more than interested in buildings. Homes to be precise. I am dreaming of a day when I can build my own home to be as sustainable as possible! There's that whole constructing thing again.

In my college days, I was big into poetry. Constructing words to define meaning no doubt! I loved the economy of poetry. Alas my skills in that area have become a little rusty.

I don't mind following instruction as long as they're coherent.

Constructing Coherence

Now THAT feels.......

No comments: