Aspiration to Resolve: The journey between

As much as I aspire to nearly everything - except gardening and sewing - I really don't do Resolve very well.

Aspiration comes from the Latin 'aspiratio' meaning desire. It has various other meanings but in this context it is about a strong desire to achieve something tangible and real. It is the aim of such a desire.

Resolve is both a noun and a verb and comes from the Latin 'resolvere' meaning to unloose or dissolve. As a verb, resolve is to solve a problem, As a noun, resolve is a determination to achieve a given purpose or objective.

Resolve is not my strength. Both the doing and the being.

I aspire easily. Aspiration requires no obligation; only amorphous wishes based on self-created fairy tales. Aspirations publically announced look fine and worthy but they mean absolutely nothing after a time has passed.

Resolve however means to commit in full to stepping out onto the path to the destination - regardless of the effort required to get there. Resolve is always defined by the present - not the future. A proper resolve is evident in the actions of the Now. Aspiration is usually about something that may or may not occur in the future and is not yet proven.

Resolve means to be so sure of ones ability to achieve something that the will is set into a permanent state of determination and physical action. Perception, side-tracks, fate, perspicacity, do not sway the resolute soul.

Because I am a commitment-phobe of the worst kind, I find resolve to be inordinately difficult. Resolve is "easy" if the goal is small and achievable. If the outcome desired is practical and objectively useful, resolve becomes either a habit or a usual task that "must be done". But, resolute commitment to those dreamy, schemey wonderful illusions that make up many of my aspirations is impossible.

The disconnect between aspiration and resolve within is as vast as the universe is wide. Nothing but nothing will *make* me resolve to do anything but myself. My Self is an ornery, stubborn romantic who aspires to nearly everything so long as that Self doesn't need to physically or psychologically do anything to actually achieve those dreams.

It's not a question of "how do I achieve this dream?" It's more along the lines of... "This would be nice but it's too hard so I'll just enjoy the fantasy of it and that is all"

I'm a child in this respect. I lack the mature will to grapple with self-discipline so as to create tangible realities from dreams and wishes. I would rather lose myself in the wonders of imagination and the pleasant pain of longing than ever think through the practical implications of action for achievement.

So I will aspire to losing weight, being a beautiful person inside and out, owning a property portfolio, writing novels that sell in the millions, reading all the classics of literature, become famous without losing my privacy.... the list goes on....

but I shall never actually resolve these things. I am simply too lazy to do so.