Tuesday, August 19, 2008

digging deep for blue skies

I'm about to go out and buy myself a big bag of St Johns Wort tea!

It is claimed that the ancient medicinal herb St Johns Wort can alleviate the symptoms of depressive illnesses.

We will see.

I know that lately, much of my mood state seems to have been on the more negative end of the spectrum.

Chemical imbalance inside my head/body? Who knows? Which comes first anyway... the chemical imbalance inducing feelings of a profound sense of loss and isolation or the sense itself causing the chemical imbalance?

Over to the "hex-spurts" on that one!

I do feel decidedly cynical today anyway. Who can give a flying &$@! about life, the universe and the high road to China? Not me today anyway. Not me at all, just lately!

It's as if I've been handed this large cracked platter and told to seal up the cracks with spit but so long as I don't take sips of water in between etc.

It all just seems like life's being a bit "unfair" so to speak. Perhaps its about "Lessons" I need to learn?

Ha! Today, anyone who mentions Karma, Destiny, Faith Lessons or Law of Attraction to me is going to get their sweet nose firmly centred to the nap of their neck! Grrrr! I am in NO mood for bloody "Lessons" of ANY description!

Just get me a cup of tea and a finger biscuit and at the very least something nice to look at out the window!

So what's a moody, mildly depressed and obscenely frustrated woman in her middle 40's supposed to do with this? Call it menopause?

Shit No! I am so not letting that stupidity rain on my parade! Life is supposed to be BEGINNING...not sliding into mediocre banality.

I'll try the tea for my chemical imbalance. The rest is going to have to be Faith, Hope and Love and a commitment to laugh at least once every day for the next ... few thousand or so I have left!

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