Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Souls broom sweeps the cobwebs out

I'm back.

Life has twisted, turned, twisted again and spun me about like I was clothing in a washing machine!

I have been washed, rinsed still being rinsed...tumbled and am being rinsed yet again!

The stains will take much to get out I guess.

On May 2nd 2008, my eighteen year marriage to a decent man ended - at my bidding.

I chose to leave baz and it has not been an easy choice. I still care about him in many ways but.... yeah....the inevitable "but".

I am not really going to go into much detail about it in this forum, suffice to say that I have much I want to explore on the themes of Love, commitment and marriage as well as that old chestnut "What exactly IS a soul mate?", and everything in between.

Thought has followed me and hounded me with ideas a plenty these past few weeks. Many of them I want to exhume and spin about like plates over my head for all the world to observe and wonder about. There are twice as many more I do not wish for the world to observe and comment on.

Still, dirty laundry aside, I admit to missing this forum for my art (if blogging can be called "art"), very much. Too much in fact. I have craved to spin my thinking here in webs of words. I have craved to have "my audience" reading them! It's a weird kind of spotlight this but no less gratifying than the theater.

My soul is still mourning the loss of that which promised so much! Love's tender threads are truly like webs of the finest spider silk, sometimes though you can get so bound up in them they give you the shivers and you must escape for then you suddenly realise it's not "love" after all, but entrapment.

It hurts to break out of silk cases and spread your own wings even so. And I have large wings that must "feel the cold" for a few minutes of this lifetime before I can fly off to be the butterfly I am meant to be.

:) Someday I might explain that last paragraph in more detail :)

So suffice it to say, I am back doing what I love doing most...writing as the thoughts come to me.... online.... where the world may read them if it so chooses.

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