I lay in that gentle twilight most of last night of almost asleep but not fully so.
Dreams swirled and eddied like softly running rivulets of clear water through my mind and even though I felt as if I was an integral part of these dreams I was also observer and commentator on them, minutely scrutinizing each facet of the dreams as they played out.
They would often repeat on a theme but with subtle changes or edits, if you will, because through the observation, I could see where improvements could be made and thought them into existence.
The dreams were beautiful, full of words and soft, gentle, joyous participation in being persons alive with wonder and possibility. The colours were muted, darker than usual for my dreams, with soft incandescent lighting and glow. There were muted reds, chocolate browns, deep greens, soft blacks and lazy mellowed whites. The softness was the most extraordinary sensation. Everything that was touched yielded and gave way in silky, soft and sensual pleasure.
The theme was the same throughout but each variation on it made the ideas within fill out and become truer and yet more impossible at the same time.
The theme was unconditional love. The variations were smiling faces, beautifully spoken words (that I wish I could remember well enough to copy here), of wisdom, love and peaceful communion. Impossibly beautiful joy and an intense sense of belonging.
It has been a long night but a night where I did not feel frustrated or annoyed that I wasn't "asleep". I could feel the bedclothes around me and the warmth generated from them and I was very comfortable. More comfortable than I usually feel in our nice big bed actually. I could lay perfectly still for a long time and experience each wave of dreaming as if it were a warm bath of indulgence and foaming bubbles.
Of course, a cynic might suggest I may have taken too many cold and flu medications before bed.... maybe... :)....If that is the case I can see why it would be easy to become attached to chemicals to induce such sensations. But no! I don't think so in this case. Something else was involved although I have no idea what.
I knew I was dreaming but I was still able to experience the dream. Quite an unusual feeling but very pleasant.
So even though I feel like I haven't exactly been asleep these past few hours, I feel very floaty and surreal today like I've been on a journey not quite of my own making.
It has been exceedingly lovely. I have no idea if it all means anything constructive but the experience has been beyond fantasy and dream, it has felt deeply real and encouraging.
I've never had a dream quite like it.