Wednesday, April 19, 2006

My Purpose is...

I was wondering yet again how to cohere my genius with my life's purpose.

Up until yesterday I had no idea what that purpose might be.

My personal document file on this computer is brimming with wee treatises on what I "thought" my Purpose in life was and there is a lot of stuff there that I've written about my intrinsic values and beliefs. I wrote it from an intellectual point of view. These were ideas that I took from the pattern of my life that I was certain contained the truth of my reason for being. There were no tears that I recall writing all that though. It IS still meaningful to me but in a technical, perfunctory kind of way, more like road-map than fire!

I wrote them then left them all to languish in my hard drive with hardly a thought of rememberance. It seemed that I was still no wiser as to why I was really put here.

Then, quite by providence, (or coincidence, depending on your point of view), I stumbled across one of Steve Pavlina's articles this evening.

I've been reading his stuff for months now and gleaning what is of value to me from his wisdom where I could. But, I'd missed this particular gem.

Yes! It sounds completely crazy and weirdo and silly and stupid and moronic and artsy-fartsy and all that etc etc. But I did it anyway!

To say I was reduced to tears is a complete understatment! To say that my life has been somehow changed is, maybe, slightly more accurate. I have been trying to dam the flood of emotion ever since I did this exercise (and it really DID take no more than 20 minutes!).

I have repeated the exercise twice now just to be sure! (I'm such a sceptic! LOL Sorry Steve! ;)) Each subsequent time was very much shorter. With each successive "session", it was as if the computer keys could not wait to write the same inspiring words out again for me.

Every time I read this purpose statement, I want to cry again and again and again! It humbles me, warms me and encourages me. It frightens me too. To be used to create such power in the world is a formidable opportunity that I cannot take lightly.

Despite the fact that I speak of my own genius as "constructing coherence". I'm often unable to make myself heard or be clear in my intention. I write with a convoluted style and I imagine it can be incredibly tedious to read at times.

When I write I am "home"; it is where my heart belongs! However, I'm not a technician. I write from feeling more than intellect so I make fundamental grammatical errors consistently. It is my style and wont to do so and I try to correct it whenever I see the problem. Forgive me this peccadillo then, if you will.

My purpose? The reason God has placed me here in this time and in this way? The reason I am who I am? The reason that I've experienced all that I've experienced? The reason that I am eNFp? The reason that I live and breathe the beauty of the English Language? The reason why I grew up loving dictionaries, spelling lists and thesauruses? The reason I write poetry, drama, stories and blogs like this? The reason that I have read so many books? The reason I treasure the power of words? The reason why the irony of my genius name is that it is also a term used in the study of English grammar? The reason that I feel the connection of all things so deeply?

This then is the answer...

My Purpose is...

To write of all that is in my heart, mind and soul;

To write clearly for all to understand my meaning;

To resonate with understanding;

To make my words poetic and beautiful and to make my words sing
with lyrical hope and joy;

To construct coherence in the hearts of mankind.


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