For a little while now, I've been playing in the MMOG called "Evony".
Essentially, its a medieval kind of strategy game where you build up cities with resources and troops by the thousands in order to conquer other cities and troops. All this so as to get your name at the top of the leader board.
It's supposedly simple but its not. As will all games there are "rules" and "cheats" which one is advised to know well in advance rather than stumbling blindly in and fumbling about like I tend to do.
I joined a reasonably powerful alliance of other players in the game within a couple of weeks of building up my city. Bad move apparently!
Just one month after joining and putting in time and energy and even some of my rl resources (yes! I admit I spent real money on an online game!), I have left. Bitter? oh yes!
So why did I leave?
Because if there is ONE thing that climbs up my nose more than anything else its to be DEMANDED by others to do things a certain way!
I will not be pushed, coerced, stridently bossed, or nagged - by anyone! As soon as I feel like I'm being pushed around or entrapped like this I do either of two things; I leave or I get sick. I left evony because I could. It was easy to do.
With other stuff in my life currently, it's a tougher decision as much hinges on the outcome. I'm right now, sick with a cough/cold. This tells me that all is not well in my world (apart from viruses traversing the airwaves). I get sick a lot when something in my world is pushing me into corners, entrapping me and forcing its 'authority' onto me. In the real world one can't always push back without a fight and that's the other thing that gets up my nose! Having to fight. I will avoid that at whatever cost including my health if needs be.
Alpha Type I most certainly am not but stubborn yes. Stubborn in a low-key, say-nothing, subversive kind of way. I back off and back out quickly if the threat of being forced to do something against my will, is evident. Bossing me around doesn't make me productive at all.
Honesty would have me say here at this point that I'm proud, wilful and independent with a massive catch. I'm passive-aggressive to the core. I will not initiate a fight but back me into a corner and I will lash out - sometimes violently.
On the other hand - I will walk over burning coals for anyone in "authority" if they praise the stuff I do well and salve my irrepressible ego with kind words and deeds. In any given situation where I'm confronted with having to perform, I do so much better when the stuff I've done right is acknowledged rather than the stuff I'm doing wrong. This also means that I am easily manipulated although as I get older I can at least spot manipulation for what it is. Doesn't matter though; I'd rather be talked up than beaten down.
It might be a matter of the projection of my beliefs onto the words of other people maybe. Not that fussed about it really right now. I just know that if someone tells me I HAVE to do this, this and this, when its a bloody game and not a life and death thing - I get out.
I reckon there are only two things worth fighting against in this world. Cancer and Injustice. That's it. Everything else is just pride, arrogance and stupid competitiveness talking.
