What if I had the money...?

I've often dreamed of winning the lottery.

It's never happened of course because I rarely buy a ticket! hahaha

I dream (and often pray) for the opportunity to become philanthropic.

I want to WIN so I can give it away. I have friends and family who are desperately in need of some sort of financial boost and I'd love to be able to help them out in some way without making them feel like they owed me something in return.

Oh yes! I would love to be able to give altruistically without any second thought as to the return favours.

I rarely expect to have my gift giving reciprocated. I give when I feel like to whom I feel like giving. To me, the honour and the pleasure is in choosing a gift for someone, that resonates with some of our shared history and our combined temperaments. I love taking the time to choose a gift carefully for loved ones and I don't necessarily like having to stick to traditional seasons for gift-giving either, though I will recognise these occasions more often than not.

I just like to give gifts to my people to show them how much they mean to me. It's as simple as that really.

What I don't like is people taking my generosity for granted and expecting it to come to them as a matter of course. Gift giving stops when I sense that someone is beginning to take advantage of me like that.

And if I still "have" to give gifts for forms sake then the 'gift' isn't really heart-felt or searched out with care. I admit that I become very pragmatic about gift-giving when its expected of me.

When my friends and family accept that I give when I have the heart and the love to give - then they will understand that the gift isn't so much about the gift itself but that they are dear enough to me that I care for them in this way.

In a way... I have won a lottery!

Not a financial one but a Love Lottery! :) I have a lot of love in my life both from me and to me and that has to count for more than all the millions the universe could throw at me huh? :)

But yeah! I'd still like to throw some free cash at them all the same ;)

What if.... No 1

What if I didn't have a sense of humour?

Well....

This is me without a sense of humour.

"My life totally sucks! I hate working full-time and I want to be free of the stupid shop and get a real life writing and being on my beloved internet 18 out of 24 hours a day"

See?

Not so much fun am I?

Without a sense of humour the day to day hum-drum of existence totally sucks! Depression, ingratitude, pride, arrogance and a deeply held belief that the whole world OWES me something for nothing is the direct result of not having a healthy sense of humour.

I believe that a sense of humour is deeply rooted in humility. It's not all about "me". Humility is about not believing oneself to be better or worse than anyone else. It's about accepting the curve-balls thrown at me by life as just another part of the rules of the game and not getting too het up about how the game is played.

Life isn't meant to be taken that seriously or God would not have created laughter, irony, satire or slapstick. The ability to laugh in the face of sucky daily living is a sign of maturity rather than an abnegation of "duty". You can still do your duty with a smile on your face after all.

Everything has a season of course - there is a time for grief and sadness - but I do think that deep joy is definitely evidenced by the outward expression of humour and laughter. There is peace in the heart when you know you're important to God and equally as important as everyone else.

I'll keep my sense of humour thanks. :)

Embracing my What if's

I've decided to embrace rather than fight with the "What if's? inside my head.

I'm a "What if...?" kind of girl. I am always prognosticating about the possibilities, good or bad that may or may not lie in the immediate future.

The curiosity in me is boundless. I need to KNOW stuff. I like knowing stuff.

The future is unknowable of course. That's kind of frustrating. I like being able to know what is going to happen. So.. I play the endless "What if...?" Game inside my head, tossing around scenes from a potential future - usually bad! *blush*

Thing is that I am always surprised at how GOOD things turn out, probably because I've imagined all the worst case scenario's, so anything better than those is a bonus! hahaha

I thought perhaps I should play around with my "What if...?" questions here in this blog. Musing on things in print seems to make the stupid more obvious and the really cool even more so.

The 'What if?' posts should come thick and fast... I hope :)

time to be me

I'm getting used to the working full-time thing...slowly :)

My masseur last week made an interesting observation about MY life that took me rather by surprise actually.

She was noting that I was a "classic example" of the post-modern woman with my peculiar lifestyle.

I'm not alone of course - hundreds of thousands of women around the world do what I do and often MORE each day than they have a right to - AND we seem to be expected to pack ever more into our busy days! But I suspect those expectations are just stupid marketing messages from our screwed-up results-based society really!

I'm a woman who is...

a) a wife of a shift-working man :)
b) a mother of two kids in their early teens with all the associated angst that that role seems to produce in a day *sigh*
c) a business partner with my husband. We are self-employed in the food industry.
d) a daughter, sister, aunty, cousin etc - [women seem to MAKE families happen really].
e) a friend (my most favourite role of all actually and probably the one after husband and kids I tend to invest the most of my precious time into)
f) a church goer
g) I'm also a housekeeper, business bookkeeper, cleaner and shopping expert and DVD-R expert (I record stuff for my husband to watch on the tv nearly every day - I know my way around a DVD Recorder better than most ;))
h) I also go to the gym, read books, watch tv shows, write cards, blog, write short stories, listen to music, use cosmetics and other such "potions".
i) And after all this, I work in our take away food shop around 42 hours per week.

I get up at about 5am most mornings to talk to my best friend, do laundry, clean stuff, make the bed, sort stuff, write and give the cat his medicine!

I crash on the couch around 9pm until my husband gets out of our bed to go to work at around 11pm (sometimes I don't even hear him leave and will wake up still on the couch in the early morning hours :))

So yeah! It's a busy life! The kids help a little bit here and there with a LOT of rather noisy "encouragement" from me of course ;) They'll get there I guess.

One thing I do believe though is that we girls need to not place such high standards on ourselves. We can't do everything, all the time, every time, perfectly! Some things have to give and they do. Thing is, it's where you place the value that will determine what gives. For me, what gives is the vacuuming! If I can let that go for as long as humanly possible I will and not give a fig! I make the kids do it now when it's necessary anyway. It's not like I enjoy living in a tip, but I just don't NEED to vacuum this crappy carpet like some demented Sadie! If I had new carpet - this value judgement might significantly change but until then - it's a no mitch-go zone! hahaha

Love thy neighbour as thyself!

And I look after myself first!

That sounds absolutely heretical but it's an important thing really to note. When I take care of myself first [within reason of course], I have enough in my emotional and physical tank for everyone else.

My God, my husband, my kids and my beloved family and friends are the most important priorities I have and if I don't take care of ME - then I miss out on them and I do not want that to happen at all.

So to hell with being the "perfect little housewife" - I am a modern woman with my eye on MY goals and nobody else's. If that makes you grimace then you just ain't busy enough to understand.

The city

Hubby and I visited Melbourne overnight last night.

I love visiting the Big Smoke. There is a certain element of excitement to be going to the hub and hurry of a big complex city.

I hate and detest far outer suburbia but for some reason the central heart of any big city thrills and elevates me to wonder and delight.

Whilst we stayed in an inner suburb, the heart of Melbourne, with its tall towering skyscrapers, all shiny and silvery against the skyline, wasn't far away.

I could live in the heart of a city. I could not live in the boxy, artificial housing estates on the fringe though. It's like I need to feel the rhythm of a city in my blood and to me, its the centre of town that pulsates with this life - not way out there in 'Burbland!

Melbourne over recent years has developed a strong cafe culture with small, quirky and interesting places to greet, meet AND eat, tucked away in side streets and alleyways. It literally feels like being in a giant gastronomic puzzle. :) The food is unbelievable and eclectic beyond belief! You can taste the world in Melbourne now.

The only real downer to Melbourne on the whole is that it seems to be still packed with cigarette smokers! Australia is very much an anti-smoking campaign nation. The evidence is insurmountable now that smoking causes so many ills in our society. Even South Australia are planning to bring in legislation to ban smoking in cars where small children are present!

Still! It amazed me to see in just the short time we were there yesterday how many people - young women particularly - were lighting up in the streets. They were thin and they were attractive...until they lit up their smoke! I don't understand why. They have no real vision of how much the smoking thing taints the overall image of their beautiful city let alone themselves.

It seems ironic in many ways that I saw so many thin women who smoked, and yet who were surrounded by so much food! It was as if the smoking was their chosen tool of protection against becoming curvaceous from the sensual pleasure of tasting the banquet laid out before them on every street!

I'm curvy - perhaps too much so in the light of the evidence against obesity. I love my food - GOOD food! I would rather eat a plate of good food once a day than have to fill my lungs with smoke 25 times per day in order to avoid getting fat. :)

That's just me though. We all have our addictions I guess.

I won't let this wreck the pleasure I get from visiting Melbourne though. There is so much to love about Melbourne but I am glad I don't actually live there all the same.

Fix You

The band played this song in Church on Sunday evening.

Its a song by Coldplay One of the better mega bands of the moment :)

So anyway, these words kind of stayed with me these last few days. I find them very powerful and beautiful on a number of levels. This could be a spiritual song or a love song or anywhere in between. The power in a good lyric is its ability to move the soul and that's what this song did for me - it moved me, rather profoundly.

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I have learned from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Snatching moments now.

I am "officially" full-time as of this past week.

Our business is a small take-away food shop. It's been a quiet year this year what with rising fuel costs and the above average temperatures over the winter months. Our busiest time of the year is from about mid April through to mid October, however, it's been quite tough to make ends meet this year for many reasons.

So we've tightened the belt meaning that I'm essentially the "cheapest" labour available right now :)

It's been a big week. It hasn't dragged by though - it's literally flown by at full tilt. I'm wondering how I'm going to fit everything I love to do and HAVE to do here at home into my "new" lifestyle. I said to a friend this morning that I have felt something like the Energiser Bunny, particularly yesterday - have had to really just to get everything done.

The kids are technically old enough to help out but they're not that keen on that idea which is perfectly normal, I guess, for 14 and 12 year olds ;) They'll soon learn if they want to get fed in the evenings they'd best help Mum out a bit.

Time to write is my big priority now. Leisurely zone-outs here on the computer focussed on a story or working on this blog are going to be very precious - so I'm making the most of these moments as they arise.

Time to go put the groceries away now though... will be back when I'm rested up and rearing to go again :)

See ya! :)

You bet!

Australia is famous for many things.

There's the Sydney Harbour Bridge and The Sydney Opera House

Ayers Rock (which we now call Uluru)

Paul Hogan (of Crocodile Dundee fame)

The Kangaroo and The Koala

and then there's....

The Melbourne Cup.

The one horse race that really DOES "stop" a nation in its tracks! Literally!

I confess that the first Tuesday in November - which is the day when the Melbourne Cup is always run - holds a certain allure for me. Twice before in my adult life, I've put on an "official" bet on a horse for the race but on the whole its the thrill of the event itself that wins my heart.

I'm glad I didn't put any real money on the horse I picked this year though! It ran 9th! hahaha

I only spotted the name from the list in the paper this morning and because it was named after one of my all time heroes of the Modern World - Nelson Mandela - I thought it was a good choice! I still do :)

The race itself isn't a big deal to really dedicated horse-racing afficionado's - there are apparently "better" races with "better" horses on "better" odds etc. But then again... there are no horse races here that I know of with quite with the same romantic appeal OR the prize money as is splashed about for the Melbourne Cup.

The race has been sponsored in recent years by overseas commercial interests. For years it was an iconic Australian brewery that sponsored the race which in many ways was typical of our laconic, anti-politically correct, beer drinking character. But we, as a nation are "growing up" and are being more universal and perhaps less parochial in these matters.

Todays race is yet another "historical" race with the 1st and 2nd placings run by first time Japanese horses and jockeys!

It seems The Cup is beginning to now finally reflect the diversity of culture and race that makes up Australia as a nation!

That can only be a good thing. :)

Construct of a dream No 2

For most of my life I've had regular vivid dreams about constructed objects - mainly houses and buildings.

I wrote about a very cool building I "saw" in one of these dreams some time ago. I would dearly love to have this particular dream recur but it has so far eluded me :( It was such a powerful experience though that I don't think I shall ever forget it despite it being just the once. I can still "see" in my minds eye the details, colours and textures of that building.

I have probably another three or four "house dreams" that have remained with me over time. The details may be a little more muted in some but nevertheless it seems that my houses take on a life and identity of their own and remain with me long after the dream is over.

I can't MAKE myself dream about houses. I've tried! They come to me when I least expect them to and are an intense experience when they do appear.

I thought perhaps I should describe another one of the buildings of my dreams. I can "see" it in my head as I type but its not as clear as when I dreamt it the first time of course. I shall do my best to provide what details I can remember.

The Carved Mahogany House (in Asia?):

The setting was a warm, humid, maybe a tropical place. I remember it complete with smells and colours - very vivid and bright colours. It reminded me of the places I saw in India near the border of Andra Pradesh and Tamil Nadu just below the Deccan Plateau.

The street was a "typical" Indian road of bitumen and ashphelt with non-descript and crumbling edges beside non-existent footpaths. There were verdant green palm trees surrounding the building.

The house itself was quite large and boxy, styled a little bit like a low slung homestead you might find in the Australian Outback. It did not have the typical corrugated iron roofed verandah though. There were no bull-nosed iron verandahs here. Instead, the roof was made of the same deep rich red-brown wood as the rest of the house. The house seemed to be entirly carved from mahogany and was highly polished. It was as if the house was as much carved furniture as what might have been found inside.

The pitch of the roof was quite low, the angles flattened out somewhat and sweeping away from the crown to the sides making for very slightly fluted eaves which were not obviously so until you looked closely. This gave the building a kind of fixed but ephemeral quality - almost as if it were a spiritual place.

It seemed very asian in feel, style and character and yet its familiarity was for me very much like the "typical" aussie weatherboard homes I have been surrounded by for most of my life.

On the facia across the front of the roofline was a detailed frieze in relief. It was deeply and expertly carved into the wood and was both intricate and extraordinarily fluid in style and pattern. Nothing in this frieze seemed to have sharp edges on it; the carving was all rounded and perfectly smooth as if carved in marble instead of timber.

The front of the house was wide and low. Right in the centre, there was a low door with a very deep, wide lintel above it. Either side of this door, equi-distant, were two perfectly retangular windows. I don't remember if there were screens or panes in these.

The front verandah had five steps leading up under the low pitched roof-line to the front door. The mahogany here was also beautifully and cleverly carved in relief. I don't recall if I could actually see any wood-grain but I instinctively knew this house was made of exceptionally beautiful timber. In fact, the entire house seemed to be carved from a single piece of timber. It was as if it were one giant sculpture.

I never went inside this house, I only ever viewed it from the street but I remember pacing up and down in front of it totally mesmerised by the quality of the wood, the colour and the carvings on it. The traditional shape of the actual house - that boxy, squared off style of architechture, was solid and comforting but the all over intricate carving made it very unique and rather extraordinary.

I don't recall a lot of the details in the carvings on this house unfortunately. It was a sensory overload of detail really. I do remember some small things like traditional Indian artwork such as smiling, scantily clad women in various erotic poses; and I recall seeing the elephant motif - especially on the facia on the front of the house. The elephant was very smooth and highly polished. I recall being amazed that the walls were carved too - that EVERYTHING on this house was intricately carved in endless detail. Leaves, flowers, people, faces, animals - it was all there - I just can't remember it all clearly anymore. :(

I rememeber curves a lot, though! Despite the house being shaped like a low-slung box - everything else about it was sensuously curved and rounded. The high gloss thing on this house was somewhat odd and anachronistic really - it constantly surprised me anyway.

This house mesmerised me but also confused me. It was beautiful beyond belief but seemed out of time and place despite its definitive asian overtones.

As I write this today I'm struck by the possibility that these houses I dream about may actually be representative of parts of me. That may sound strange but I feel like I'm really seeing myself when I dream about my houses - that they are aspects of my character and personality buried deep within me somehow. It might also sound a bit boastful to say that though because I'm always amazed at the complexity and incredible beauty in the houses I dream. *blush*

My house dreams are usually very comforting and inspirational, and generally awe inspiring. They tend to occur before significant lifestyle changes and/or personal mindhops that I make in my awake life.

The house dreams that stay with me are like intimate friends now. The intensity of each first meeting may have dimmed with time but they still stick around long after to bring me joy and comfort.

I like dreaming about houses :)

in, at, im and other moments in time

Martin has this wonderful german accent right? (he says he does NOT have an accent at all! - we agree to disagree on this ;))

What I love best about his inflection though is this line he says...often.

"In the moment..."

I think its from the German "im moment" but don't quote me on that.

I say "At the moment" and now, when I look at these two statements side by side, his way of saying it makes much more sense.

What we do, say, think or feel is very often IN the moment its expressed. To me, the wee word "at" kind of implies the moment is yet to come as in "about to occur".

Some people are quite gifted at thinking things through carefully and choosing their words with cautious intent. I'm not one of them! I do take time over things like story and blog writing but on the whole not much else I do, say, think or feel is ever really "about to occur"!

I tend to say, do and think things and then verbally (or textually) express them pretty much that instant IN the moment of their conception. It's a risky habit and I do need to learn to put some space and distance between my thoughts and their external expression sometimes. I guess the plus side to this is that I am, if nothing else, a very natural person :) If you can overlook the chronic Foot-in-mouth disease!

To me the saying "in the moment" seems more honest in many ways than saying "at the moment". It's such a subtle thing though and I suppose it's not a really big deal as such but it just struck me that it could make a difference in my own understanding of how I think and then act in the moment.

Triston's flash of Genius

em gets upgraded by Triston in this very sweet and tender post on Mind Unbound

We've tried to explain to him that there's no word in English for "unmarried life partner of my father." I am definitely family, but I don't have a category.

em's right! There ARE no cool words for the modern day complexities of relationship.

There are some legalese words which sound about as tender and loving as rubber floor mats in cars. Words like "de facto" and "common law wife/husband" have about as much appeal as cold porridge or wet blankets.

I guess you could call em, Steve's "concubine" (yes the definition of this being "A woman who cohabits with a man without being married to him" - Macquarie Dictionary Australia - go look it up!)... but this word has other subtle connotations I'm sure would make em choke on her Coconuff Fudge and I really like her far too much to have her die from such a thing! ;)

Triston is on to something!

Modern day love needs new definitive terms that describe the differences succinctly but also tenderly. Marriage, un-marriage, de-facto, gay and lesbian unions, polyamory unions and committed friendships are a whole new ballgame for many people needing new paradigms and agreements on how to tenderly name the relationships that grow from these complex arrangements.

The thing Triston has done though is to bring a powerful sense of family to em's role in his life. She is "my Michelle". This simple, definitive and somewhat possessive term of endearment puts em at a central and integral place in his life. It describes why he loves her and how important she is to him.

Love spawns complexity. It grows roots and branches among people in strange and often confusing ways. The boundaries to the traditional understandings of mere "Marriage" and "Union" has and is becoming more and more blurred.

The most important thing though, is that whatever new words we find to describe particular relationships - that we also acknowledge and recognise that those relationships are about LOVE before anything else.

the surgeon's blade

have you ever found yourself confessing your deepest truths to someone? Have you ever been so honest with yourself in the process that what was hidden in your heart suddenly seemed to crystallise into your awareness as if you were looking into a mirror for the first time?

Some people have a gift for carefully slicing open the soul and exposing what lies within. Some of these gifted types will either do the slicing out of mean and spiteful hatred or they will do it with great love and gentle kindliness.

So if you need to be honest and make confession, try to find those who can do the slicing open of your soul with the blades of love and kindness. These people are the true geniuses of the world because they demonstrate the mercy of God as much as they require the brutal truth.

Some would call them "Jesus with skin on" :)

eben

Eye of God?

I received this chain email today. (a heads up for those who don't yet know - I HATE and despise email chain letters! Please don't send me this kind of crap. The commentary on this one is a rare event only because it for once inspired a blog entry ;)).

So anyway... when I saw this picture my instinctive Crapola Meter swung into hyper-alert with all dials whizzing into the Red Alert zone almost instantly! ;)

Which of course... made me do what I always do when I receive a "new" chain email that may not have any basis in fact... I head over to BreakTheChain.org to get the background on it.

Well the photo is indeed "real" but only in so far as yes... that Nebula is out there in the galaxy and yes... we CAN sort of see that it looks like an "eye" from our perspective. But... NASA have no records of calling it "The Eye of God" and the picture IS actually a construct of many parts anyway so it's a representation of what it might look like not what it actually is. What we see and what it actually is could be two entirely different things.

So it is with God. What WE assume and think we know about Him is quite different to what and who He actually is. We assume too much of the wrong stuff and too little of the right stuff. Humanity is clouded by its own desire to be god to be able to see God clearly.

Anyway... why do we need to see the Eye of God anyway? What is it about us that requires us to have this kind of information? Why do we even need to be so assured that God is watching us in such a concrete and physically identifiable way as suggested by the above image?

Faith is by its very nature a subterranean thing deep inside the psyche/heart/soul/being. Faith by itself can never be proven either way, true or false. The test of Faith is that there is hope beyond reasonable assumption and evidential experience that that hope is being made reality in the here and now.

Faith requires that we experience God for ourselves, not through objective means - although reasonable intelligence demands a fair bit of objective truth in order to move across the threshold into the stuff beyond objectivity - but that we feel and know the reality of God expressing Himself within us.

That's where Faith becomes a life-changing thing and not a mere superstition. Real Faith doesn't NEED to see physical evidence of God because the evidence of God is already made real though personal experience of Him.

And real experience of God is very deeply personal indeed! It's an incredible journey of discovery and relationship based not on traditional external expressions of faith - unfortunately expected by far too many - but on inter-personal dialogue and simply KNOWING Him as a real person.

Thing is... that experience of God is less than likely to come via external means. No pictures of "god" in the sky will ever MAKE someone believe in God - you have to already believe in God to "see" Him in these pictures! You construct God from out of the physical world through your own Eye of Faith which is highly personal and subjective and either true or false - who knows? Not for me to judge really!

God is Relationship - the most intimate kind.

You can find God in this picture though. Not His eye or a picture of Him - but you do see his handiwork in the amazing wonder and simple complexities of the universe and for me, my Faith says that makes Him real enough :)

Questions part 2

I seem to be coming back to this theme regularly of late.

The art of asking the tough questions!

When I need to dig deep within and ask myself tough things, I listen for my gut to give me the answer I seek. Most of the time that works for me.

I've even tried that trick called "Muscle Testing" that Martin spoke about awhile back. I did find however that I tend to cheat at that. I'm not sure yet whether I totally believe in muscle testing but truth be told, it's probably more than likely that I just don't like the 'answers' I get when I do it! *bemused smile*.

I have learned throughout this process of discovery that there are many different ways to ask the same question though. All those different ways of asking the same thing will, invariably, give me entirely different answers! So confusing and frustrating that! It also makes it extremely easy to cheat and ensure I get the answer I really want to hear rather than the one I really need to hear.

So guts, mucle, heart and magic all require a certain linking ingredient. What that ingredient is, I'm not entirely sure yet. Perhaps its Discretion! I don't know!

So? I've established that I trust my gut best to answer the really big and deep questions in my life. I've also established that I am not particularly courageous asking these questions in the first place and now I've learned that the way I word these questions can change the answer and consequently the outcome too!

It seems the road to being honest with oneself is a rocky one.

Simplicity rules

You know! It really IS the most mundane and taken-for-granted stuff in our lives that has the most extraordinary revolution of idea and innovation behind it.

Take for example the humble snap-lock sandwich bag! A very utilitarian article found in most western kitchens. Have you ever really LOOKED at the nifty little sealing function on that simple plastic bag?

I mean the sheer genius behind that concept blows my mind! Who thought of that?

That basic, simple but revolutionary idea has taken the plastic bag to new heights of usefulness and practicality! :)

We take these things so much for granted. We fail to acknowledge that there are amazing minds hidden away thinking and dreaming of new ways to build on old technologies; making the magical, a mundane utility, and the mysterious "Thing", simple to understand.

The ability to create simplicity from complexity is a rare and valuable skill. If you see that ability in someone then don't take it for granted. Tap into their gift and be prepared to learn an amazing amount of stuff in a very short time! :)

So, to all the designers, the artists, the inventors, thinkers, idealists; to the men and women who create the future and make life easier than yesterday...

........I dips m' lid to yer and thankyou from the bottom of my snap-lock bag! :)

What really IS a Soul Mate?

I've been wrestling with this concept for some time now, trying to figure out just what that whole idea actually means.

The Soul Mate idea is entrenched in New Age philosophy and beyond. Even people from traditional christian backgrounds accept some kind of possibility that there is a person that is our complete and ideal "match" out there.

I think... and I have to qualify this by saying I'm not really sure yet... but a Soul Mate doesn't have to be someone you marry or are romantically involved with, although that seems to be the goal of most people - to meet and marry their Soul Mate.

I don't think of my husband as my Soul Mate though. We love each other very much. We're good friends and we have a lot of things in common (16 + years of marriage to each other notwithstanding ;)), but as far as that connection thing between hearts/minds/emotion/souls... *shakes head* Nah! We are more your pragmatically married types I guess! ;)

I might go so far as to say that I'm not even sure the whole Soul Mate thing even exists if it's all just about the whole perfect match thing! Ugh! The idea that there is just one other soul in the world right now who is your perfect other half? Pretty limiting in my book! And not really that much fun when you think about it.

I mean you'd have to believe in Fate and Destiny and all manner of other pre-determinate philosophies in order to accept that you'd find "The One" in your lifetime! Being single could take on a whole new perspective if that were the case and airlines would be FULL all the time with single people scouring the world looking for "The One", their perfect match, their Soul Mate!

Ouch! How sad and sorry are we if we put all our energies into that kind of search, when there are lovely people (like my husband) living practically right next door and with whom we can spend many happy years enjoying the company thereof. :)

But if perchance that a Soul mate is someone with whom you can share your mind and your heart on a level beyond romance and sex and all that - a meeting of hearts so intimately tuned into each other and connected? Then hmmm? Perhaps, I could go with that idea. :) So a Soul Mate could be your best friend, your sister, your brother, your Mum even! And yes! Even your husband or your wife. :)

And if this is the case, then perhaps we have more than one Soul Mate surrounding us! Perhaps it is such that we are actually surrounded by Soul Mates; people with whom we can easily connect on a deeply intimate and loving level whether we are also romantically involved with them or not!

So maybe a Soul Mate is really someone who fills your life with love and laughter, joy and wisdom, dignity and respect, incredible delight and incredible intimacy of thought and emotion - then that person is just as much your "match" in life as anyone else you love deeply.

Now that is COOL! :)

For me though... the jury is still "out" on this concept and I'll no doubt spend many more hours wondering about this theme. It fascinates me.

alien wisdom

“To resist the influence of others, knowledge of oneself is most important”

Teal'c – Stargate:SG1 episode “Stronghold”


Absol-blimmin'-lutely! :)

trust and sacrifice

I've been asked by the universe to kill my Isaac!

Now... before you go calling Interpol ;) Let me s'plain!

Okay... religious education lesson first!

In the bible the story of Abraham and Isaac tells how God asked Abraham to go to a distant mountain and sacrifice his one and only child, Isaac.

Now Abraham was an old, old man. He had been promised the world - quite literally - by God, that his decendants would be as numerous as the grains of sand on a beach. He and his wife Sarah - who was biologically beyond child-bearing age - eventually did give birth! Quite the miracle huh?

So you can imagine that Abraham was pretty much dotty about his wee boy. Loved him like nothing else in the world mattered. Here in this child lay the potential of that extraordinary future he'd been promised.

And now?

Here was the same God telling - demanding - that he kill his beloved son in an act of worship. To sacrifice his one and only son just as all the other religions in the region occasionally required as a part of their worship rituals.

And Abraham did as he was told. He trusted God implicitly to do the right thing by him no matter the circumstances or the immediate consequences. He knew that matching God's wisdom is much like an ant trying to understand human wisdom! Unfathomable and mysterious in the extreme (from the ants perspective that is ;)).

In the story - Abraham was about to slaughter Isaac (can anyone imagine that kind of heartbreak?)... when God intervened to save the child and provide another alternative for the sacrificial rite of worship instead. Who knows what might have happened though if Abraham did not trust God so well! The whole of history would have been quite different I think.

Okay! So what does this have to do with little old me in the 21st Century?

I don't have a child by the name of Isaac and nor would I dare consider actually killing anyone, let alone one of my children! I would not believe in a god that asked me to do such a thing (which makes Abraham all the more remarkable to me really).

The "Isaac" I do refer to though is my deepest held desire/fantasy/thing/person/wish/assumption that I cling to with all my heart, soul and mind.

My "Isaac" is the one thing - the one deepest held belief and desire I have - that I will not give up.... and yet...I'm being asked by God (and the cosmos if you will) to do just that.

It is not an easy thing.

And so now, I am to travel in my heart to that secret "mountain" to commune directly with my God, sacrifice my particular "Isaac" and TRUST Him to know what He has planned in all this.

He will either make me follow through and actually kill this beloved thing off inside me OR he will intervene at the last minute and provide an alternative out. There are a million other possibilities besides I cannot even begin to imagine!

I have always trusted in my God. I have always believed that He has my best interests at heart. But this is a tough call! He's asking me to do something so extraordinarily hard - I don't know if I want to go there.

Can I trust Him enough to know that everything will work out fine even if I have to kill off any hope of attaining that one thing I wanted so much?

Priceless is the hugging heart of One Man

I was sent a link to this cool clip today.

I confess I knew nothing about the Free Hugs Campaign despite it being in my own country (one of the few drawbacks of not listening to regular news and current affairs shows... you can miss the soundbytes on the really genuinely cool stuff :))

Apparently 'Juan Mann' (pronounced One Man) has had some controversy over his Free Hugs Campaign. He was ordered to stop hugging strangers in the street and buy Public Liability Insurance!

*sigh*

People get touchy about touch!

It's such an intimate thing to physically touch another... and the hug is probably the ultimate form of touch you can do without sex necessarily being involved.

But as this brilliant article says...

There's something uplifting about this story. Along with the video, you get the "warm and fuzzies" and find yourself cheering this guy who reminds us of the simpler pleasures; of the sweetness that life and letting others fill it can bring.

and...

We live in a world where violence and violent acts are becoming normalised. The producers of the new James Bond film see fit to cut the superspy smoking a cigar but not images of him killing people with a smoking gun. We are shocked and appalled at sexual imagery and intimacy (Margaret Whitlam's comments about Janette and John Howard holding hands, for example), but take death, pain and the destruction of human life in our stride.

Yes! We do tend to tolerate violence and the art of cruelty and yet we crave the power of loving touch whilst at the same time frowning upon any public display of it.

We're desperately confused about this. We have over-simplified touch in the violent forms of its expression and yet over-complicated touch in its loving and peaceful expressions.

Juan Mann could change the world and clear up the confusion perhaps, with a hug. There is a gentle and wonderful hope in that. So... for once there IS a Good News story to celebrate and embrace - literally! :)

I'd like to be Juan Mann too :)

Thanks to GBC for showing me the link to that clip (and some of the articles too :))

(HUG) :)

She died the other day

Michelle has died.

Nearly two years ago, this young woman who has lived all her life in this community had a small lesion on her lip that would not heal.

A biopsy was performed and she was diagnosed with malignant melanoma.

She was only 35 years old (or thereabouts).

In February of 2005 she had that lesion removed and I wrote about it in my old blog.

Things looked up for awhile and all seemed like it would be okay.

But it wasn't.

Michelle discovered another lump under her tongue. This time it was so inconceivable that such a beautiful woman should have to suffer this fate! She had most of her tongue cut out and part of her jaw and throat over time as well. They did everything possible to get her well. She has two young children afterall.

Sadly, nothing much else could be done.

She suffered in silence, the grief evident in her face as her life ebbed away each day. The family went quiet and cloistered themselves as best as they were able in a small community.

She was so extraordinary! So beautiful, so gentle and wise. She loved to live and live well. She was devoted to her husband and her children. She loved hot rods and fast cars, motorbikes and makeup! She was a woman of faith and courage. She had more skills than you could poke an oil soaked dip-stick at! She could even teach boys how to maintain a motor-bike all while looking like she belonged on the cover of Vogue!

Michelle was probably the most inspirational and amazing acquaintance you could ever have the pleasure of knowing. Sadly, we never became closer than that - although I longed for it. I admired her so much.

And now she is at peace and resting with God. I'm grateful for that - there is no more suffering or pain for this girl anymore.

I just hope her husband and her children will be able to remember their beautiful Michelle with joy, instead of sadness, because that was her greatest gift - Joy. She seemed to inspire the air to create it whenever she was there.

CU girl! I loved you from afar - make no mistake! I thought you to be one of the most beautiful women that ever lived, inside and out.

God speed.